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PlutonianRooster

PlutonianRooster

Member
Dec 16, 2024
27
It would have been SN, if not for the unreliable shipping times and the cost (I feel strong guilt around spending money; I could never bring myself to complete the order).

I don't feel relieved. Just sad, tired, and alone. I still don't know if I'll take the leap, I guess - I already feel sort of stupid for ordering it - but the time in between my episodes of hopelessness only gets shorter and shorter.

Part of me still thinks something will happen - that some miracle will crash-land into my life once I take a certain step, that something will force the story to go on. But I'll futilely finish up coursework, microwave a bowl of oatmeal for dinner for the something-th time in a row, and go to sleep like any other night.

I feel like the human equivalent of using AI to infinitely stretch a song past its end.
 
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Reactions: Catchingdabus27, MathConspiracy, Praestat_Mori and 2 others
MathConspiracy

MathConspiracy

Trapped in a (prison) cell of organic molecules
Mar 25, 2025
245
Whatever happens, we're here for you <3 I'm about to order my rope too, I just need to find something else to buy as well so I can get a free delivery. I wanted to get SN but someone here said that the card payment doesn't work unfortunately.
 
PlutonianRooster

PlutonianRooster

Member
Dec 16, 2024
27
Whatever happens, we're here for you <3 I'm about to order my rope too, I just need to find something else to buy as well so I can get a free delivery. I wanted to get SN but someone here said that the card payment doesn't work unfortunately.
Thank you. I wish you peace on whatever path you take as well.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: MathConspiracy

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