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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
I can imagine this is a controversial topic, so please keep it civil long enough so there can be a fruitful discussion as I am very interested in what the answers and reasons behind the answers are. I have two core questions:

1. How important is it to this community to prevent minors from registering an account on this forum?
-Granted, there is a soft prevention by implementing essentially the honor system (i.e. don't lie about your age); however, it's naive to think minors wouldn't just lie about their age.
-So, is that soft prevention theatrical or only exists to cover legal requirements (I must admit I'm not knowledgeable in the legal requirements if there are any)?
-Do users here actually care whether there are minors among the registered users here? I can imagine this to be split.

2. Can anything more be done to prevent minors from easily registering an account here?
-For example, requiring a form of official documentation (of course, that would not be popular).

Curious side note: what happens to users who are reported as minors? Are they banned? Do they then need to provide documentation to prove age?

Thanks for entertaining my wondering.
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,958
Are you a minor?

1752110132264


Minors who are reported are banned immediately.
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
Are you a minor?
Lol, I used to be. :o I'm a certifiable adult equipped with responsibilities. :,)
Minors who are reported are banned immediately.
Oh really? So, if someone decided to report you or me as a minor (even though it's not true), we'd be banned just like that? No recourse? In one sense it's good because the mods take responsibility, but in another sense it could be weaponized, no? Just overthinking I suppose.
Lol, I remember those days.
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Global Mod · Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,950
Any people that are suspected of being under 18 are contacted by mods to confirm their age. If they fail to confirm they are under 18 they get banned. I myself had to go through this process in the past as I was suspected to be under 18.

If someone outright says they are under 18 or reveals something that means they have to be under 18 then they are banned straight away. They can get unbanned by confirming their age and when they turn 18.

Also another thing is if someone replies on a thread of someone who admits to being under 18 in said thread or continues to talk to a user they know is under 18 and not report them, then mods will warn that user so there is a incentive for others to not hide under 18s' age.
 
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leloyon

leloyon

I'll see you in the Wired.
Feb 4, 2023
1,424
dang kids, get off me lawn
1752111427695
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
Any people that are suspected of being under 18 are contacted by mods to confirm their age. If they fail to confirm they are under 18 they get banned. I myself had to go through this process in the past as I was suspected to be under 18.
Interesting. Confirm their age how if you don't mind me asking? Why did they suspect you (don't answer if it's personal and/or you'd rather not)?
If someone outright says they are under 18 or reveals something that means they have to be under 18 then they are banned straight away.
Interesting. So, I guess the most objective banable offense is saying, "I'm a minor." In a sense I find it a bit humorous, yet I agree with the rule.
They can get unbanned by confirming their age and when they turn 18.
I see. Got it. Thanks for the response!
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
4,958
Oh really? So, if someone decided to report you or me as a minor (even though it's not true), we'd be banned just like that? No recourse? In one sense it's good because the mods take responsibility, but in another sense it could be weaponized, no? Just overthinking I suppose.
I should have specified that this is usually in the case where they admit to being a minor (which has actually happened quite a few times before).
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Global Mod · Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
1,950
Interesting. Confirm their age how if you don't mind me asking? Why did they suspect you (don't answer if it's personal and/or you'd rather not)?
I don't know if I should say how we confirm people's ages as that would comprise on how we figure them out but they suspected me for me saying I am trapped by my parents and sometimes having a childish personality on here. I got age verified literally the day after I made this thread about sharing plushies lol:
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
I should have specified that this is usually in the case where they admit to being a minor (which has actually happened quite a few times before).
I see. Got it; thanks!

Out of curiosity, have you encountered a minor on this forum (to your knowledge)?
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,990
Short of asking for ID, which isn't going to happen, at least, it better not happen, not in a forum like this, anyway, there really isn't anything that can be done to ensure that minors don't open accounts here. What would you do about the "lurkers" who don't open an account, yet are able to read anything here they want for the most part? That would be true on any website on the Internet. As much as minors on this forum are frowned upon, there's nothing "illegal" about them being here. Minors have the same Constitutional protections (this is a US based forum, so the laws of the US apply) as adults, and this forum is protected by Freedom of Speech protections, which, again, apply to minors, as well as, adults. This site is different from "porn" sites which are expressly illegal for minors to access - that's why most/many of those sites require ID to join (Free Speech Coalition v. Paxton 2025). Sure, it's pretty easy for anyone to view porn on the Internet, even children, but porn is still different in that it isn't protected under the First Amendment like free speech. Basically, there's only so much that can be done. Most logically thinking people don't want minors here. If you believe someone is a minor, notify a mod, so they can investigate. The Internet is like the Wild West. It is what it is. This is the world we now live in for better, or worse.
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
I don't know if I should say how we confirm people's ages as that would comprise on how we figure them out but they suspected me for me saying I am trapped by my parents and sometimes having a childish personality on here.
That's fair. Just curious.
I see.
I got age verified literally the day after I made this thread about sharing plushies lol:
LOL. How funny, haha. Also, cute plushies!
 
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EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Arcanist
May 7, 2025
492
Tangent, but related... in some states in the USA there have been recent laws passed requiring Adult Web sites (pron) to verify ages of users. This has to be done using photos or uploading official state-issued IDs and the like. PornHub, for example, has chosen to just ban IP addresses from those states rather than go through the hassle of the adult verification and risk of getting it wrong.

I mention that because... any state doing that, surely has a provision that would apply to a site like that that could make it a requirement. That's just my country, who knows about the rest of the world. Point being, it could become a legal thing in a heartbeat if the country/states decided to get that involved and they don't see indications that a Web site like this is actively policing itself with sensitive topics.

And I'll say for the record that I was a depressed teen, though never to the point of being suicidal like I am now as an older adult. I can't say how I would have felt at the time being restricted from a site like this but as an adult who empathizes with depressed people in general... I have to draw a line on enabling underage kids to read the kinds of things posted here.

You couldn't do it once they hit 18... but I'd strongly encourage folks under 25 not to be around here personally. Depression sucks ass and thinking of suicide is not fun and really should be a last result as much as I want to die right now... but I still have to encourage young people to give life a fair shot to see what could happen. Life hasn't worked out for me, but no one including myself can say I didn't try it out and give it a chance.
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
Short of asking for ID, which isn't going to happen, at least, it better not happen, not in a forum like this, anyway, there really isn't anything that can be done to ensure that minors don't open accounts here.
I see. And I concur. I'm just asking what the sentiment of the community is due to minors being registered users on this forum (a question you didn't answer; but of course, you're not obligated to answer, just as much as four others opted for funny photos).
What would you do about the "lurkers" who don't open an account, yet are able to read anything here they want for the most part?
What would I do? Nothing I guess. Because like you say (and you say it well and make a great point)...
That would be true on any website on the Internet. As much as minors on this forum are frowned upon, there's nothing "illegal" about them being here. Minors have the same Constitutional protections (this is a US based forum, so the laws of the US apply) as adults, and this forum is protected by Freedom of Speech protections, which, again, apply to minors, as well as, adults.
(said great point)
This site is different from "porn" sites which are expressly illegal for minors to access - that's why most/many of those sites require ID to join (Free Speech Coalition v. Paxton 2025). Sure, it's pretty easy for anyone to view porn on the Internet, even children, but porn is still different in that it isn't protected under the First Amendment like free speech.
Ah, interesting. So... why did I get asked my age before registering?
Basically, there's only so much that can be done.
That's true. I just wish something could be done about it. Perhaps someone smarter could come up with something, but maybe not. :/
Most logically thinking people don't want minors here.
Do you fall under the category of people who don't want minors here?
If you believe someone is a minor, notify a mod, so they can investigate. The Internet is like the Wild West. It is what it is. This is the world we now live in for better, or worse.
I see. Yeah, fair enough. But even the Wild West became tame as society progressed. Do we resign ourselves to where we are, or seek to progress for the sake of keeping minors off? Off at least from registering as it grants the search function and ability to ask new questions, etc.
Yes, on a few occasions. I usually report them immediately.
Oh really? Wow! I see.
 
psp3000

psp3000

Enlightened
May 20, 2023
1,578
2. Can anything more be done to prevent minors from easily registering an account here?
now that I am thinking about this question I wonder why there isn't a page that asks if you're 18 or older first I think there was or at least pop up but I cannot really remember but that would be nice for example on an old website which discussed suicide besides other topics (drugs, sex, satanism etc.) they would have that page first and if you clicked no this isn't what I was looking for it would take you to the old Disney homepage/website

as for minors/suspected minors on the forum I just ignore and don't report because I always worry that if I were to report I could be wrong and the person could actually be an adult and lose everything despite still having the ability to access the forum without an account
and the rules are quite vague I think if I remember correctly so I think I assume/you can only report if they admit it to you privately or publicly

because it would be rude or biased and incorrect to report just based on vibes (so I choose to just ignore)

but also it would be nice not to have to do that because I thought the applications would prevent such an issue but I guess not
 
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TooManyChances

TooManyChances

Member
Jun 30, 2025
22
I don't agree with minors being here, but they are in distress just like us. Long as they keep quiet just move on imo
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
Tangent, but related... in some states in the USA there have been recent laws passed requiring Adult Web sites (pron) to verify ages of users. This has to be done using photos or uploading official state-issued IDs and the like. PornHub, for example, has chosen to just ban IP addresses from those states rather than go through the hassle of the adult verification and risk of getting it wrong.
Oh, interesting. It'd be interesting if something like that will eventually be used for sites such as this. I can see a potential future where sites like this a prominent, and the laws adjust to allow to an extent access, but access only to legal adults (with other requirements I can imagine as laws aren't simple when restricting access to something such as a suicide forum).
I mention that because... any state doing that, surely has a provision that would apply to a site like that that could make it a requirement. That's just my country, who knows about the rest of the world. Point being, it could become a legal thing in a heartbeat if the country/states decided to get that involved and they don't see indications that a Web site like this is actively policing itself with sensitive topics.
I see. Yeah, you bring up a good point. Thanks!
And I'll say for the record that I was a depressed teen, though never to the point of being suicidal like I am now as an older adult. I can't say how I would have felt at the time being restricted from a site like this but as an adult who empathizes with depressed people in general... I have to draw a line on enabling underage kids to read the kinds of things posted here.
I see. Yeah, I also was a depressed kid in high school with suicidal thoughts then. If I'm being frank, I currently am using this site for less than it's ctb information, and more so for it's ability to offer comfort and a venting space. At a time I did use it for refining my method, and may eventually do so more if I find the need to.

Why do you think a line should be drawn for underage kids, specifically, if you don't mind me asking?
You couldn't do it once they hit 18... but I'd strongly encourage folks under 25 not to be around here personally. Depression sucks ass and thinking of suicide is not fun and really should be a last result as much as I want to die right now... but I still have to encourage young people to give life a fair shot to see what could happen. Life hasn't worked out for me, but no one including myself can say I didn't try it out and give it a chance.
Yeah. Yeah, true.
I don't agree with minors being here, but they are in distress just like us. Long as they keep quiet just move on imo
Interesting.

Follow up question if you don't mind: if you discovered a user was a minor, would you report them or just move on?
now that I am thinking about this question I wonder why there isn't a page that asks if you're 18 or older first I think there was or at least pop up but I cannot really remember but that would be nice for example on an old website which discussed suicide besides other topics (drugs, sex, satanism etc.) they would have that page first and if you clicked no this isn't what I was looking for it would take you to the old Disney homepage/website
I think it does ask if you're under 18, or at least it did. Idk, I'm just logged in, and already answered the "under 18" registration question. But yes, I agree it's a good step.
as for minors/suspected minors on the forum I just ignore and don't report because I always worry that if I were to report I could be wrong and the person could actually be an adult and lose everything despite still having the ability to access the forum without an account
Oh yeah, yikes. That would be my fear too. I don't like stirring trouble; however, I feel minors shouldn't be here.
and the rules are quite vague I think if I remember correctly so I think I assume/you can only report if they admit it to you privately or publicly
I see, interesting.
because it would be rude or biased and incorrect to report just based on vibes (so I choose to just ignore)
Yeah, agreed.
but also it would be nice not to have to do that because I thought the applications would prevent such an issue but I guess not
Right, exactly. They (to my knowledge) don't check during the applications. It's just formality imho.
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Arcanist
May 7, 2025
492
Why do you think a line should be drawn for underage kids, specifically, if you don't mind me asking?
Unless we are talking about an emancipated minor who is legally responsible for themselves... there must be an adult parent/guardian responsible for any underage person. I know there are shitty parents and sometimes that can be a large part of the reason why a young person is depressed. Either the parent is causing the problems or is not there to support their kids like they should be. IF suicide was more easily accessible and less frowned upon, there would be a lot more kids ending their lives because of lack of maturity and experience in the world and lack of ability to properly weigh and balance their experiences.

Granted many adults aren't mature either, and of course there are people with chemical imbalances and/or disabilities too. But society has decided to draw lines at certain ages, so I at least believe in consistency. Is an 18 year-old inherently better/smarter/more adjusted than a 17 year old? Nope. But society has agreed to draw that line.

As I said, I'd still discourage people under 25 from seeking suicide as their "only" solution on principle. As sucky and painful as life can be, and we aren't here by choice, I believe you have to give it a chance. There is so much potential for good here and fun experiences that I hate to see anyone go out too early without giving things a chance, even if it seems really bleak. I don't know where my unofficial line is... but I'm 55... and I feel like for sure at 40, I'd have a hard time arguing with anyone who said they had reached 40 and everything sucks and they felt it wasn't going to get better. It wouldn't be my place to try and deny their experiences at that point.

But someone underage as our society has defined it? Sometimes you do kind of have to step in and prevent someone from making a bad choice, especially if they haven't ever had anyone in their lives give them a shoulder and support and understanding. As an example, a lot of teens considering suicide are doing so because of being gay or transgendered and our society still frowns on that, sadly. Teens who have a family that accepts and supports them are much more likely to make it through that depression without contemplating or attempting suicide. It's not guaranteed, nothing in life is... but parents that denounce and kick their teens out of the home or make them constantly feel "less than"... those kids are far more likely to feel like they have nowhere to turn for support... but those kids could be reached if someone tried sincerely.

We fuck up so much in life, and fuck over so many people either intentionally or accidentally... I hate seeing kids get fucked over by life before they have a chance to figure things out.
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
If they are too explicit about it, yeah. Rules are rules
I see. Although, respectfully, those two sentences seem contradictory: the rules are if someone is a minor they are to be reported/banned, not if a user is too explicit about it then they can be banned. It can't be both imo: relying on personal subjectivity and objective forum rules.
We fuck up so much in life, and fuck over so many people either intentionally or accidentally... I hate seeing kids get fucked over by life before they have a chance to figure things out.
I see. Yeah, that's a good point.
 
locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,990
a question you didn't answer;
Yes I did - see below.
Most logically thinking people don't want minors here.

Ah, interesting. So... why did I get asked my age before registering?
To weed out minors. I got asked my age, too, I believe, when I joined. It's not possible to stop people from lying, nor is it possible to protect everyone from everything. Society isn't perfect. It does the best that it can.

Do you fall under the category of people who don't want minors here?
Ofc. I've made my sentiments known many times, and I've, also, said that no one under the age of 25 should be considering suicide since the best current science suggests that the brain doesn't even fully mature until that point.

But even the Wild West became tame as society progressed.
Do you honestly believe the world we live in now is any "tamer" than what the Wild West was? I'd suggest it is far worse in many ways. Just watch the news.

How are you going to keep minors off this site, or any other for that matter, if they really want to join it? This is an anonymous forum and it needs to stay that way. Again, it's impossible to protect everyone from everything. If a minor wants to get alcohol, they will find a way. If they want to get drugs, same thing. If they want a gun, they can find a way to get that, too, if that's what they really want.

Now, don't take this wrong, and I'm not accusing you of anything, but, you know, this posting has a bit of an "interrogation" feel to it. It kind of feels like a reporter attempting to gain perspectives from users that the reporter can then use, and "slant", in a scandalous, exposé-type article to further bring more bad press to this website, with the premise that nobody here cares whether minors access this site, which is simply not the case.

Still, a question that is left begging here is how, exactly, do you, personally, know that there are ANY minors on this site? You'd have to be privy to more information than any of the regular constituency of the membership of SaSu. Frankly, I have no idea if there are any minors amongst the ranks of SaSu. I have no doubt that minors have in the past attempted to infiltrate the ranks of SaSu, but, when they were discovered, they were immediately removed. That doesn't mean there are any here currently, though. Again, how do you know there are? Did you direct some here to see if they'd be able to join? I don't see any other way that you could know unequivocally that there are minors here.
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

Friends with 🧿Aera23🧿
Apr 10, 2025
504
Dear potential minors,
there are so many similar discord communities and several other sites available.
Please seek another site for support, STOP using this site until at least your 18th B'day (u can set a reminder for your 18th B'day if u wish).

If you are even considering signing up under a false age, know that users like me will feel hurt when we read news reports of under 18s dying thru knowledge they have got here and similar.

Your feelings are valid, regardless of age.

Remember, if/when we discover a user is under 18, the user will sadly have to be reported, and by stopping use of the site until you are 18, you won't feel the pain of being reported.

EmptyBottle
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
Yes I did - see below.
Okay... well, "Most logically thinking people don't want minors here" is a very indirect way of answering, but I suppose I'll take it. We're not in a courtroom I suppose, lol. I suppose I like direct answers too much for my own good.
To weed out minors. I got asked my age, too, I believe, when I joined. It's not possible to stop people from lying, nor is it possible to protect everyone from everything. Society isn't perfect. It does the best that it can.
Okay, I agree with that. I'm more asking though why SS is doing that even if they don't legally have to.
Ofc. I've made my sentiments known many times, and I've, also, said that no one under the age of 25 should be considering suicide since the best current science suggests that the brain doesn't even fully mature until that point.
Oh, sorry, I didn't look at your post history, but I believe you. Interesting point about the age of 25 thing. So you think this community should instead ask people if they're below 25?
Do you honestly believe the world we live in now is any "tamer" than what the Wild West was? I'd suggest it is far worse in many ways. Just watch the news.
Tamer than the Wild West? Yes, I do.
How are you going to keep minors off this site, or any other for that matter, if they really want to join it? This is an anonymous forum and it needs to stay that way. Again, it's impossible to protect everyone from everything. If a minor wants to get alcohol, they will find a way. If they want to get drugs, same thing. If they want a gun, they can find a way to get that, too, if that's what they really want.
How am I? I don't exactly have that power; plus, I can't say I know how else to do it without giving up the anonymity. And while you make a good point saying a determined minor will get what they want regardless of attempted restrictions, I think it's a poor case to make against trying to find a better way to prevent a minor from registering to this forum.
Now, don't take this wrong, and I'm not accusing you of anything, but, you know, this posting has a bit of an "interrogation" feel to it. It kind of feels like a reporter attempting to gain perspectives from users that the reporter can then use, and "slant", in an exposé-type article to further bring bad press to this website, with the premise that nobody here cares whether minors access this site, and that's simply not true.
I don't take it the wrong way. All good. Also, I believe this forum doesn't seem to care much about a minor accessing this site, which is why I'm asking the questions to see what kind of responses I get to either prove me wrong or get me to understand why there is so little care (I could imagine people are preoccupied with their own lives and don't have the energy or even means of doing something about; I suppose that's where I am; but then again, I haven't gotten that kind of response, but rather replies that don't really answer or excuses for why minors will inevitably access this site, have a chance at killing themselves, and nothing being done about it).
Still, a question that is left begging here is how, exactly, do you, personally, know that there are ANY minors on this site? You'd have to be privy to more information than any of the regular constituency of the membership of SaSu. Frankly, I have no idea if there are any minors amongst the ranks of SaSu. I have no doubt that minors have in the past attempted to infiltrate the ranks of SaSu, but, when they were discovered, they were immediately removed. That doesn't mean there are any here currently, though. Again, how do you know there are? Did you direct some here to see if they'd be able to join? I don't see any other way that you could know unequivocally that there are minors here.
I find it a bit funny that you believe there isn't a single minor registered to this forum. Even if I don't have empirical personal evidence of it, it doesn't take that to know that since it does happen, that it has happened again. Not every minor is going to out themselves.
 
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EternalShore

EternalShore

Hardworking Lass who Dreams of Love~ 💕✨
Jun 9, 2023
1,393
I don't know if I should say how we confirm people's ages as that would comprise on how we figure them out but they suspected me for me saying I am trapped by my parents and sometimes having a childish personality on here. I got age verified literally the day after I made this thread about sharing plushies lol:
considering this is how you were accused, it makes me wonder how the mods determined that I'm an adult~ xD

Just wondering, how do you handle users who joined as minors but are now adults? For context, I said happy birthday to a user celebrating their 19th birthday recently, but their account was made in late 2023, meaning that they made it when they were 17~ do you just ignore them ig? xD
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

Friends with 🧿Aera23🧿
Apr 10, 2025
504
Not every minor is going to out themselves.
That is why my open letter says to stop use until the user is 18, and seek other resources.

We will not know if someone has listened, since there are many reasons for long inactivity:

  • Forgotten password (that was me on The Flat Earth Society)
  • Lost access to an older device (I must've had that experience, can't recall specifics)
  • Vehicle accident or anything that stops a person from physically being able to post (including pre-trial detention)
  • Lost interest in the site, etc
 
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wondering&wandering

wondering&wandering

Too often I think about the nature of thinking...
Jan 12, 2024
288
Also, just wanted to clarify in case anyone needed this: I'm asking this because I'm legitimately curious and legitimately concerned for the minors (and potential future minors) registered to this site. I'm pretty sure that I would be dead if I joined when I was 14 (when I began having serious ctb thoughts) [and it can be argued by some I'd imagine that it would have been better if I died then to limit human suffering, but I digress]. So, this isn't supposed to be an attack, but rather it's been something on my mind recently, and I didn't see any other threads about this, so I thought I'd ask. I've already got some good answers.
 
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EmptyBottle

EmptyBottle

Friends with 🧿Aera23🧿
Apr 10, 2025
504
considering this is how you were accused, it makes me wonder how the mods determined that I'm an adult~ xD

Just wondering, how do you handle users who joined as minors but are now adults? For context, I said happy birthday to a user celebrating their 19th birthday recently, but their account was made in late 2023, meaning that they made it when they were 17~ do you just ignore them ig? xD
Good spotting, think the user is allowed to remain since they are older than 18 at the time u read it... they could have even shifted their age for OPSEC reasons
 
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Dejected 55

Dejected 55

Arcanist
May 7, 2025
492
Almost nothing is foolproof. But that doesn't mean you stop trying. We have laws against murder and rape, but murder and rape still happen. I don't think anyone would argue that murder and rape should be made legal since you can't possibly stop them from happening 100% of the time. No, you make the law and try to enforce it as best you can and hope people get better over time. Of course, sometimes it seems like people are worse over time, but I digress.

There's an interesting phenomenon in play when people talk about are times worse now than 100 years ago or 200 years ago. We think things are worse because it's on the news seemingly all the time... but look back at famine and disease and wars in times past. Look at the standard of living in times past too. I'm NOT saying homeless people in the US have it "good" by any stretch... but... there are poor people today who technically have it better than middle-class people if you go back far enough. And in wars past a lot more people died. We actually have a "problem" in the USA where people we send off to war come back. They are injured and traumatized, but they come back... whereas in wars of old they would just die on the battlefield. We suck at treating war injuries and PTSD and taking care of our returning soldiers in general... but we also have more of them coming back than used to be the case.

Lots of diseases wiped out bunches of population quickly in times past too. COVID-19 notwithstanding a few years ago, we haven't had nearly the ravage of disease in the modern world. But, whenever anything bad happens to you or someone you know or around you or makes the news, it seems like it is worse.

I think of the school shootings too. They seem to be more frequent, but are they? I mean, I think they probably are... but also they make the news all the time. Before 24/7 news coverage did you hear about these things outside the community where they happened? Less so to be sure. And public schools have only been a thing for a little over 100 years... so it's kind of new in a sense too.

By most scholar accounts that I've seen, arguably the world is a more peaceful place on average than a few generations ago. It might not seem like it because we are living in the now... but would you trade your life now for one a few hundred years ago? Most would not, if they are honest about it.

The problem is, people still suck.

So... you can't fully stop minors from getting in the door even if you went to an ID system. People forge IDs, kids get fake IDs and are able to use them in person, so doing it online would be much easier. With AI and other ways to fake an aged image of yourself, you could trick most systems that I can imagine if you really wanted to get in. But I think the point is the people running the site have to care and have to try, and all of the users have to help and if we run across someone we think is underage, we owe it to that person to question it just in case they are.

Narcs and snitches always get a bad rap, not just kids but as adults too. "Hey it's not cool to rat on someone" and society tries to make you feel bad for telling on someone... except... if you were being raped or beaten and your neighbor saw it happening and could identify the assailant... you damn well know you'd want that neighbor to speak up and "rat" out your attacker. We need to stop with rat and snitches and other put-downs for the well-meaning people who are trying to enforce good rules. I'm not talking about "Karen" or "Ken" trying to keep black people out of "his" pool or public park... I'm talking about people seeing something legitimately harmful potentially happening and having the courage to step in and call attention to it.
 
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