batmanreal
Member
- Sep 9, 2025
- 12
i had a list of things i wanted to do before dying. i had completed most of things last year and then failed a ph attempt. now, the things i worked towards and completed have gone to shit. most notably, i wanted to make friends before dying (selfish, i know); now i have no one. i wanted to make people happy/improve someone else's life, but i've just drained everyone and made the people around me miserable.
in a previous post, i mentioned a band that i've always wanted to see live and how i won't be able to see them. it's still bothering me. it seems like a lot of people at my job are going to the festival where the band will be performing, and that just hurts even more. they ask why i'm not going to the festival, and it's always awkward because i can't be like "no one will want to go with me because there's no one on this planet who will willingly spend an extended amount of time with me". i just say "i have no one to go with/no way to get there", and even that makes things awkward.
literally the only thing that i had somewhat of a chance of achieving before death, and i can't even have that. i feel like an absolute loser. crying because i can't go see a metal band perform live?? it's cringe, but it's something i've wanted since i was like 7-8yrs old. it was the only thing on the list that looked to be feasible, but it wasn't.
making a whole pre-ctb checklist and not being able to do a single thing on the list is so fucking lame.
in a previous post, i mentioned a band that i've always wanted to see live and how i won't be able to see them. it's still bothering me. it seems like a lot of people at my job are going to the festival where the band will be performing, and that just hurts even more. they ask why i'm not going to the festival, and it's always awkward because i can't be like "no one will want to go with me because there's no one on this planet who will willingly spend an extended amount of time with me". i just say "i have no one to go with/no way to get there", and even that makes things awkward.
literally the only thing that i had somewhat of a chance of achieving before death, and i can't even have that. i feel like an absolute loser. crying because i can't go see a metal band perform live?? it's cringe, but it's something i've wanted since i was like 7-8yrs old. it was the only thing on the list that looked to be feasible, but it wasn't.
making a whole pre-ctb checklist and not being able to do a single thing on the list is so fucking lame.
