Discussion Not being able to take care of my parents

[losingsteam3141]

Will be my main regret. How do you cope with this? I'm an only child so they will have no one.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I guess you mean because you won't be around to help them out because you've ctb? I can see how that could induce a lot of guilt. I don't really have any advice on how to cope with that guilt because both my parents are deceased and I was still around. I hope you can find a way to have peace with it, though, before you go.

 

[omensetter]

Only child here. At the risk of sounding callous I would be glad to not witness my parents' deaths/terminal decline. Going through that would just be another trauma added to the list.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's not a comfortable thought. I'm trying to hold off CTB till my Dad goes first. The bigger dilema I have is- my parents live 100's of miles away. To clarify- they moved a long way away first. And then, I moved even further away for a job opportunity. So- I'm not sure how I could care for them- while I'm still alive.

Will they expect me to move? Would they be prepared to move? Probably not. So, it can be tricky- even when we are still alive.

It's such a personal thing though. Recently, I've crept nearer to thinking I can't hold on much longer. I suppose we just all know our own limits. For now, I've pulled myself back again.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

As a parent of adult children, my perspective is, I don't want my kids to be burdened with taking care of me.

 

[slitwristsbleedcold]

I have absolutely nothing to care for, they never cared about me, so why should i

 

[losingsteam3141]

I guess you mean because you won't be around to help them out because you've ctb? I can see how that could induce a lot of guilt. I don't really have any advice on how to cope with that guilt because both my parents are deceased and I was still around. I hope you can find a way to have peace with it, though, before you go.

Yes this is what I mean. It already hurts watching them get older. Thank you, I hope so too.

 

[losingsteam3141]

Only child here. At the risk of sounding callous I would be glad to not witness my parents' deaths/terminal decline. Going through that would just be another trauma added to the list.

I understand your point of view. I would feel a more at peace if I can make their decline as comfortable and easy as possible. I would feel less bad if I ctb after they were gone.

 

[Galahad]

Will be my main regret. How do you cope with this? I'm an only child so they will have no one.

I get this but in the past tense. My parents died many years ago, before some here were even born.

I have an older brother I worry about but no kids and no pets.

We all have our dilemmas with our plans.

 

[notreallybored]

ב''ה,
This really has been made impossible by all of Creation in the past decade. Don't feel excessively bad about it.

 

[kopebaldy]

I'm forever grateful to my brother for being as successful as he is.

It's reassuring knowing my parents will be well taken care off without me.

 

[losingsteam3141]

It's not a comfortable thought. I'm trying to hold off CTB till my Dad goes first. The bigger dilema I have is- my parents live 100's of miles away. To clarify- they moved a long way away first. And then, I moved even further away for a job opportunity. So- I'm not sure how I could care for them- while I'm still alive.

Will they expect me to move? Would they be prepared to move? Probably not. So, it can be tricky- even when we are still alive.

It's such a personal thing though. Recently, I've crept nearer to thinking I can't hold on much longer. I suppose we just all know our own limits. For now, I've pulled myself back again.

Life is far more difficult than I imagine and I hope you can find peace with what you decide. For me, I think though I live far away from my parents, I've always wanted to provide financially for them (retirement/nursing homes, healthcare, etc.) I guess they will be ok with social security, but they sacrificed so much for my education and future, and squandered it and let them down.

 

[NonEssential]

Living to keep others happy is something that is slowly deteriorating in my mind and won't keep me here for long. Fortunately I have three siblings and my parents aren't yet at the point of needing constant help.

 

[losingsteam3141]

As a parent of adult children, my perspective is, I don't want my kids to be burdened with taking care of me.

Thank you for sharing your perspective. I think my parents may say the same, but I really squandered everything they gave me to succeed and failed in life. I single-handedly made their lives so much more difficult and then I repay them by simply exiting and leaving them nothing. I think I would have ctb by now if not for this thought.

 

[losingsteam3141]

I get this but in the past tense. My parents died many years ago, before some here were even born.

I have an older brother I worry about but no kids and no pets.

We all have our dilemmas with our plans.

Yeah I guess so. I wish life was less complicated.

 

[losingsteam3141]

ב''ה,
This really has been made impossible by all of Creation in the past decade. Don't feel excessively bad about it.

If you mean its been more financially difficult, the school path I am on would give me the ability to take care of my parents, but my situation is that there is a possibility I may be kicked out or somehow blocked from reaching my career after school

 

[brighteyesfan144]

Will be my main regret. How do you cope with this? I'm an only child so they will have no one.

it must be really hard to be an only child and not be able to take care of your parents. i'm not gonna try and sympathize or empathize because i could never imagine that. im the youngest of three. i probably won't be able to take care of my parents because i can barely take care of myself since they abandoned me, but i hope my two older siblings can take care of them when they're old. i don't see them anymore since they abandoned me when i became homeless and had no where to go so i haven't seen them since then. hopefully they'll be ok.

lol jk i hope my parents rot in hell i'll probably go there when i die you too. no offense but fuck all child-bearing parents!! world is bullshit suffering atm and we can only hope to god for some salvation but in general parents born between 1960-1970 (which i assume yours are) are pieces of shit lol if you had two older siblings they'd probably not give a fuck about you but because you're an only child it probably seemed like they cherished you. trust me everyone is a piece of shit, don't worry just worry about yourself ok

 

[losingsteam3141]

I'm forever grateful to my brother for being as successful as he is.

It's reassuring knowing my parents will be well taken care off without me.

I often wish I had siblings. Id feel less guilty and not have the entire burden on my shoulders.