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rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,707
I can't accept the state of this carcass I inhabit. And never will.

It ruins my every moment. I am always aware of it. I feel this flesh is rubbish. I feel inferior because of it.

I have several severe mental health conditions. I'm old so I should just go.

It's hard to explain it all. I don't feel this body is worthy of anything. So won't buy clothes. I see myself as a caricature if I have or wear anything nice.

I don't function. My neighbour is pretty much my carer. Absolutely adores me. It just hurts as I can't live like this.

I haven't explained it very well.

I have an amazing friend who really loves me.

I have SN plus an AE and an antacid.

I would want to live if my body wasn't covered in loose skin and stretch marks. Though I refuse to accept certain memories. So who knows?

Want to ctb. My neighbour will be devastated. Two people close to my neighbour committed suicide. My friend will be hurt.

Agony. Every moment.
 
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Reactions: Élégie, OpheliasFlowers, hopelessgirl and 6 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
44,043
I am sorry that you are in so much pain, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. This life really can be so awful. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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Reactions: OpheliasFlowers and Dead Meat
rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,707
I am sorry that you are in so much pain, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. This life really can be so awful. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
Thanks. I know you don't want to live. I wish you the best too.
 
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Reactions: Dead Meat
Chiisai

Chiisai

To infinity and beyond!
Sep 1, 2021
754
I can't accept the state of this carcass I inhabit. And never will.

It ruins my every moment. I am always aware of it. I feel this flesh is rubbish. I feel inferior because of it.

I have several severe mental health conditions. I'm old so I should just go.

It's hard to explain it all. I don't feel this body is worthy of anything. So won't buy clothes. I see myself as a caricature if I have or wear anything nice.

I don't function. My neighbour is pretty much my carer. Absolutely adores me. It just hurts as I can't live like this.

I haven't explained it very well.

I have an amazing friend who really loves me.

I have SN plus an AE and an antacid.

I would want to live if my body wasn't covered in loose skin and stretch marks. Though I refuse to accept certain memories. So who knows?

Want to ctb. My neighbour will be devastated. Two people close to my neighbour committed suicide. My friend will be hurt.

Agony. Every moment.

Your peace or someone's (your neighbour) well being, truly is a difficult choice. I feel you as Im in that dilemma too.
 
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Reactions: Dead Meat and Foresight
rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,707
Your peace or someone's (your neighbour) well being, truly is a difficult choice. I feel you as Im in that dilemma too.
Thanks. I can't bear another second but I don't want to hurt someone who says I'm their world. I'm sorry you're in a similar position.
 
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Reactions: Dead Meat, ColorlessTrees and Chiisai
Chiisai

Chiisai

To infinity and beyond!
Sep 1, 2021
754
Thanks. I can't bear another second but I don't want to hurt someone who says I'm their world. I'm sorry you're in a similar position.
No worries. Not your fault. You must have a big heart for you to consider others' feelings over your own. I hope when the time comes, you will be repayed for your kindness.
 
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Reactions: Dead Meat, ColorlessTrees and rationaltake
rationaltake

rationaltake

I'm rocking it - in another universe
Sep 28, 2021
2,707
No worries. Not your fault. You must have a big heart for you to consider others' feelings over your own. I hope when the time comes, you will be repayed for your kindness.
My friend and neighbour have been absolutely wonderful to me. Thank you for your really kind and thoughtful reply. You must have a big heart too.

I like your avatar btw.
 
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Reactions: Dead Meat, ColorlessTrees and Chiisai

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