Tormented Soul
Member
- Dec 6, 2025
- 6
hello all, new member here. TY for allowing me to join. i need a palce to talk about this without fear of cops showing upo at my door locking me up, making me a zombie, then releasing me back into the shitty world with even more probs than i had goin in there.
i REALLY REALLY hate hoiw the world doesnt want to let end you life, but offers no help with the real problems hurting us. Lock you up or stuff you full of meds seems to be the only answer they got. cousling can help, but only so much when things dont get better.
well, im 53 and have had mega-health issues and poverty and constant bad luck my whole life. ive had suicidal ideation for about 25 yrs now. life (god) just will not stop tormenting me.
i really only stick around for my sister, my 2 cats and my neighbors 2 doggys (my best friends).
i hav a fear of tryin to end it all, as back 1997 i told the wrong person i wanted to die and cops came to take me to hospital for an evalutaion. well i was honest and next thing i know i was locked up for a month. the quack dr in there fried my brain by making me take all kinds of crap. my brain has never been the same since. as bad as i felt before hand, i wish i could go back and have my old brain back before the meds damaged me bad.
whilist i was in there i met people who tried everything from pills to hanging to gun shots to the head to jumping in front of a train, all still alive messed up even more and locked in mental home for life. so im afraid to try unless its 100% garaunteed (shotgun in the mouth maybe).
so here i sit with a broken neck, heart disease, anemia, insomnia, chronic fatigue, ulcers, internal bleeding, and worst of em all MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) where im allergic tal ALL SCENTED Products, meaning i hav to live in a bubble basically (my home i rarley ever leave) and hav to avoid everyone and everything as eveeryone uses fragrance.
as i said, im poor living on disability and struggle every month to make it.
Im SOOOO tired and ready to go. i really dont care about life much other than my animals.
I have so much more to say, but typing hurts my neck and this all i can do right now.
TY for letting me vent everybody. (im reading lots of threads right now on here). :(
i REALLY REALLY hate hoiw the world doesnt want to let end you life, but offers no help with the real problems hurting us. Lock you up or stuff you full of meds seems to be the only answer they got. cousling can help, but only so much when things dont get better.
well, im 53 and have had mega-health issues and poverty and constant bad luck my whole life. ive had suicidal ideation for about 25 yrs now. life (god) just will not stop tormenting me.
i really only stick around for my sister, my 2 cats and my neighbors 2 doggys (my best friends).
i hav a fear of tryin to end it all, as back 1997 i told the wrong person i wanted to die and cops came to take me to hospital for an evalutaion. well i was honest and next thing i know i was locked up for a month. the quack dr in there fried my brain by making me take all kinds of crap. my brain has never been the same since. as bad as i felt before hand, i wish i could go back and have my old brain back before the meds damaged me bad.
whilist i was in there i met people who tried everything from pills to hanging to gun shots to the head to jumping in front of a train, all still alive messed up even more and locked in mental home for life. so im afraid to try unless its 100% garaunteed (shotgun in the mouth maybe).
so here i sit with a broken neck, heart disease, anemia, insomnia, chronic fatigue, ulcers, internal bleeding, and worst of em all MCS (multiple chemical sensitivity) where im allergic tal ALL SCENTED Products, meaning i hav to live in a bubble basically (my home i rarley ever leave) and hav to avoid everyone and everything as eveeryone uses fragrance.
as i said, im poor living on disability and struggle every month to make it.
Im SOOOO tired and ready to go. i really dont care about life much other than my animals.
I have so much more to say, but typing hurts my neck and this all i can do right now.
TY for letting me vent everybody. (im reading lots of threads right now on here). :(
Welcome to the community! Thank you for sharing. I love cats! What are their names?
