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bipolar22

bipolar22

Bpd. chronic gastritis. ibs. depression. AUD
Aug 31, 2022
222
cant sit here alone longing for home and my family much longer. been perscript benzons for 2 years but i overused them and will run out in a less than a month cant stand this hell sober anymore. I really don't want to. there's nothing left for me in this world. needs to happen coming week. wish i wasnt such a coward don't scared of messing sth up causing more damage. but I cant continue like this.
envy people who have loving families and support but I guess not for me.
anyway this time needs to work. it has to or I swear I will loose the rest of my mind.
hope the rest of you have an okay day as much as that is possible for some of you. I I know a lot of you have it rougher than me.
just writing down some thoughts. I know Im not smart and my posts are annoying so just kinda writing it for myself.
 
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Reactions: StrugglingSienna and Praestat_Mori
DivineSpark

DivineSpark

Elementalist
Feb 9, 2025
831
I have loving, kind and supportive family. Makes me feel guilty....
 
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Reactions: StrugglingSienna, NaturesWomb and Praestat_Mori
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,565
I hope you find the peace from suffering you search for, I wish you the best.
 
bipolar22

bipolar22

Bpd. chronic gastritis. ibs. depression. AUD
Aug 31, 2022
222
Reconsidering date. I can't leave my girl here alone. She also.has no family here we just have each other. And I feel horrible. She wants to leave with me but has no method yet
 
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Reactions: StrugglingSienna, NaturesWomb and Carrot
NaturesWomb

NaturesWomb

Take me back, Mama
Mar 26, 2025
7
I have loving, kind and supportive family. Makes me feel guilty....
Depression and SI don't discriminate. I know how you feel. I know how traumatized my friends and family would be. I still crave it. I'm still awkwardly pacing around the bus stop. I do feel guilty. I try to process it and be kind to myself because we dont have to feel guilty for being sick.
 
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Reactions: StrugglingSienna
StrugglingSienna

StrugglingSienna

Suicidal Trans Girl
Mar 16, 2025
183
Depression and SI don't discriminate. I know how you feel. I know how traumatized my friends and family would be. I still crave it. I'm still awkwardly pacing around the bus stop. I do feel guilty. I try to process it and be kind to myself because we dont have to feel guilty for being sick.
Sometimes all the love in the world isn't enough to save those of us who are severely mentally ill. I love my family so so much and out of all the families to lose their child, they deserve it the least. But you're right. We don't have to feel guilty for being sick. I will have to keep that in mind when I attempt.
 
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Reactions: Freebandzgang and ForeverCaHa

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