Need to CTB but have 2 teenagers and a loving Elderly Father

[indianachrome]

I really need to CTB but my dad has saved my ass the last few years and he's 81 and I'm afraid he would be crushed. Also my kids would be crushed. But what about my miserable life that just went from amazing to garbage - dogwater - bullshit? It doesn't seem right to just exist here because of other people....

 

[ZornTheDreaded]

I really need to CTB but my dad has saved my ass the last few years and he's 81 and I'm afraid he would be crushed. Also my kids would be crushed. But what about my miserable life that just went from amazing to garbage - dogwater - bullshit? It doesn't seem right to just exist here because of other people....

you don't owe anyone you staying

 

[TheHolySword]

2 teens? are you still responsible for them? that's anywhere from a child to an adult. even 19 is young to lose a parent.

 

[calicocat07]

you don't owe anyone you staying

I dont know. They've got kids, op needs to consider that sorry to say. At least till their older.

 

[indianachrome]

I pay child support but they live out of state. Right now I go visit them one weekend per month and some holidays. 13 and 15

 

[User111885]

It's been 8-9 weeks since your incident that made your medical issues worse. It is way too soon to commit suicide. Leave here. Come back in a year if you're still in agony and consider things then.

Yes, you have 2 teenagers, you are completely in the wrong for thinking about ctbing this soon. Whatever things happened, it may be in another month or two, you'll be able to stretch in a way to get out of whatever misalignment you have. If you have children, you need to try to be responsible for them as long as you can. This new accident development happened less than 6 months ago.

If you are still in the same agony a year from now and everything is in horrible pain all the time, then it's understandable to think about it then. Also, if you are currently about to be homeless or face something dire, that could possibly make things more understandable, but otherwise, this is way too soon to consider this.

 

[newslaves916]

you don't owe anyone you staying

I usually agree but, they're kids
OP should atleast wait till they are older and can manage their own lives and have matured

 

[indianachrome]

It's been 8-9 weeks since your incident that made your medical issues worse. It is way too soon to commit suicide. Leave here. Come back in a year if you're still in agony and consider things then.

Yes, you have 2 teenagers, you are completely in the wrong for thinking about ctbing this soon. Whatever things happened, it may be in another month or two, you'll be able to stretch in a way to get out of whatever misalignment you have. If you have children, you need to try to be responsible for them as long as you can. This new accident development happened less than 6 months ago.

If you are still in the same agony a year from now and everything is in horrible pain all the time, then it's understandable to think about it then. Also, if you are currently about to be homeless or face something dire, that could possibly make things more understandable, but otherwise, this is way too soon to consider this.

thanks for this input. Im coming off an extremely high dose of prednisone and my mood is severely depressed and i'm not thinking right. This website is so comforting for me as it provided me so much comfort when I was facing horrible life circumstances 5 years ago.

 

[like_a_bird]

I usually agree but, they're kids
OP should atleast wait till they are older and can manage their own lives and have matured

Unfortunately, I am inclined to agree. What a difficult situation all around.

 

[Diamond Lie]

thanks for this input. Im coming off an extremely high dose of prednisone and my mood is severely depressed and i'm not thinking right. This website is so comforting for me as it provided me so much comfort when I was facing horrible life circumstances 5 years ago.

Thank you for having the presence of mind to recognize that your situation with medicine is impacting your judgment and being open to Clara's clarity (pun recognized, but not intended).

I obviously don't know your situation like she does, but I can say that a parent's middle-aged demise can be traumatizing to teenage kids, even if he lives elsewhere and they don't see him very often. I can't say anything to alleviate any of the existential pain you feel, but I can (and do) exhort you to stay alive for your children and father.

That's another thing: I've heard that burying one's child is an extraordinarily painful experience. I'm not saying this is easy, but keeping your father from suffering such a tragedy would be a noble, selfless, admirable thing to do.

 

[indianachrome]

this prednisone withdrawal is nuts. I've never felt this level of anxiety in my life. There is a guard railing at the YMCA where I walk (Its the only thing I can do to stay out of the inpatient psych) and I was nervous I was going to jump over it with a bunch of kids down there last night. It was terrifying. Hoping it only lasts a couple more days

 

[android]

I dont know. They've got kids, op needs to consider that sorry to say. At least till their older.

I believe that if you bring people into this world and force them to suffer, then you are 100% obligated to suffer alongside them. Those who induce suffering ought to suffer as well.

 

[idiotmother]

It's easy for people to judge when they're on the outside of a situation. Horrible circumstance and suicidal ideation don't care if you're a parent or not; terrible things can happen to anyone. If you can survive for your kids then, of course, that is the best option, but ultimately the choice is yours. You shouldn't feel ashamed, especially on a suicide forum. Med damage and withdrawals are not well understood, but the suffering that they cause is tremendous and no one can possibly know your suffering unless they are you. It sounds like you're really going through it and I'm sorry.

 

[Dot]

this prednisone withdrawal is nuts. I've never felt this level of anxiety in my life. There is a guard railing at the YMCA where I walk (Its the only thing I can do to stay out of the inpatient psych) and I was nervous I was going to jump over it with a bunch of kids down there last night. It was terrifying. Hoping it only lasts a couple more days

Hve u tld n.e professnls abt hw wthdrawl = affectng u

 

[indianachrome]

yes they just gave me a bunch more meds...I need less meds tbh...The anxiety started to get better today but anytime I get up and get something to eat or drink i start shaking again and get super anxious. This shit is crazy