Venting Nausea

[KenDuh]

I feel like I'm going to vomit. I don't know where am going with all this (life). People already now that I'm suicidal, and I feel shameful because I don't seem to find the courage to end it all. They all look at me waiting, expecting that I recover or something else (idk), but I'm just stay there. I don't have a path to follow, don't have a faith or a god, I don't feel like I have anything that I would like to live for, but at the same time I'm incapable of taking the lead. I don't know if a should leave uni, try to die again, walking until I end up lost, stay in bed trying to die from hunger. The pain asks me what I am going to do now, but I lack the conviction to answer, so I remain silent. How long will this last? How long can I remain silent?