Story My story & ctb next week

[siochain22]

Hello! I just found SS via searching for PPH.

Long, long story very short: Grew up with lots of trauma, abuse and neglect. Despite my best efforts, living in poverty and struggling generally, I got to a goodish place, but goddamn the waves kept coming, and coming, and coming. This summer I reached breaking point, and had this amazing moment of clarity and release when I decided, "this is it" and to end things. I've taken a month off from everything, given myself some piece and solitude. Surprisingly I have felt pretty good. The end date (next week) is fast approaching, and days seems to be slipping away a bit more quickly than I'd like.

I wish I found this site sooner, because it's been so lonely to plan this all alone. I had hoped to find some N or at least some other medication to take the edge off the worry at the end, but had no luck.

I know I'm leaving behind things I care about, and practical things like debt and unfinished life plans, but it's time. It has been so so hard for years now, and the past 12 months especially have just reinforced how cruel and unforgiving the world can be.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

I'm sorry life has been so cruel to you. But I'm glad you've given yourself a month for peace and solitude and have been feeling good, you absolutely deserve that.

 

[ItsTimeToExit]

... I know I'm leaving behind things I care about, and practical things like debt and unfinished life plans, but it's time. It has been so so hard for years now, and the past 12 months especially have just reinforced how cruel and unforgiving the world can be.

Don't worry about the debt (unless you're in a weird country), it dies with you.

Sorry that you feel you must die. Enjoy the peace.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Your suffering/trauma seems like it will not stop crashing into you...I'm sorry.

I wish you the best while you are here on SS with us.

Welcome

 

[siochain22]

Thankyou all for your kindness.

I'm trying to enjoy and soak up the nice things I love: nature, animals, the sea, the beach, forests, funny things, heartwarming things. It's been such a strange life, I feel like I've lived a whole load of different lives up to this point.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering. Life is just so unfair. I understand it is hard to carry on when everything is hopeless. At least you have things that you can enjoy before you leave. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[apathetic.]

Wow I have pretty much had the same life as you. Abuse neglect trauma and whatnot. Altho only now I've realised that this is the end. After 20 years it just clicked you know ? Cbting was an answer all along

 

[Ruinedlifex]

I understand how you feel, friend. I'm sorry the world has been especially unkind to you. If death is what you seek, I hope your soul may find peace and freedom.

And if you change your mind and decide to stay, I hope you may find courage and fortitude to keep living.

 

[siochain22]

Thanks again for these kind replies.

I only have a few days left. If anyone would be interested in chatting via PM/Other anonymous means I would appreciate it. I am in the UK.

 

[Hurt]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. Life is hard for everyone in this site.

 

[www.NicoIsDead.com]

Hello! I just found SS via searching for PPH.

Long, long story very short: Grew up with lots of trauma, abuse and neglect. Despite my best efforts, living in poverty and struggling generally, I got to a goodish place, but goddamn the waves kept coming, and coming, and coming. This summer I reached breaking point, and had this amazing moment of clarity and release when I decided, "this is it" and to end things. I've taken a month off from everything, given myself some piece and solitude. Surprisingly I have felt pretty good. The end date (next week) is fast approaching, and days seems to be slipping away a bit more quickly than I'd like.

I wish I found this site sooner, because it's been so lonely to plan this all alone. I had hoped to find some N or at least some other medication to take the edge off the worry at the end, but had no luck.

I know I'm leaving behind things I care about, and practical things like debt and unfinished life plans, but it's time. It has been so so hard for years now, and the past 12 months especially have just reinforced how cruel and unforgiving the world can be.

im sorry that life is so cruel to you. i hope you will be at peace , and if you need anything my messages are open.

 

[fred1]

Thanks again for these kind replies.

I only have a few days left. If anyone would be interested in chatting via PM/Other anonymous means I would appreciate it. I am in the UK.

Hi I'm in Uk also so if u want to chat send me a message as Iv no idea how to send u a message

 

[xLosthopex]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point

Ps. Is maith liom do ainm úsáideora :)

 

[siochain22]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point

Ps. Is maith liom do ainm úsáideora :)

Go raibh maith agat