my sn has arrived

[ih34rty0u]

and i don't know what to do with myself now. i bought it very impulsively and now im actually scared to ctb. i just opened the package and my heart is beating so fast. i've been fantasizing about ctb for over 10 years, but SI always holds me back.

i still don't have a dopamine blocker and i don't know how to get one. i was thinking about asking my psychiatrist for olanzapine, but my next appointment is in december. i know people have succeeded without it, though.

i'll probably keep my sn but i need to hide it somewhere, for now i just put it in the wardrobe.

those who ordered sn, where do you keep yours?
my parents sometimes visit my apartment and i don't want them to accidentally find it.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Take your time and be kind to yourself, there is no rush. Mine is in my closet drawer, behind clothes, but I live alone.
Are you going to test it? If you are, just be careful opening it as it may be a problem with humidity and getting in contact with air.

 

[Unrequitedlife]

I agree with @FadingSnowFake . You must be both sure and ready. I have had mine for a couple of weeks and am trying to put togther the rest of what i need. Since its arrival i have found that knowing i have the means easily available has actually calmed my urges a little, as ironic as that maybe

 

[ih34rty0u]

Take your time and be kind to yourself, there is no rush. Mine is in my closet drawer, behind clothes, but I live alone.
Are you going to test it? If you are, just be careful opening it as it may be a problem with humidity and getting in contact with air.

thank you. i read about how you should open sn in order to avoid reducing its effectiveness. im not planning to test yet, i don't want to open it unless i'm sure i want to ctb. if im going to test it, i'll probably do it right before drinking it.

I agree with @FadingSnowFake . You must be both sure and ready. I have had mine for a couple of weeks and am trying to put togther the rest of what i need. Since its arrival i have found that knowing i have the means easily available has actually calmed my urges a little, as ironic as that maybe

i hope it's how i'll feel soon. when i opened the package, i was a little overwhelmed and scared at the thought of actually using it and going through all that process. it's so weird to realize that you suddenly have the means to ctb.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

and i don't know what to do with myself now. i bought it very impulsively and now im actually scared to ctb. i just opened the package and my heart is beating so fast. i've been fantasizing about ctb for over 10 years, but SI always holds me back.

i still don't have a dopamine blocker and i don't know how to get one. i was thinking about asking my psychiatrist for an olanzapine, but my next visit is in december. i know people have succeeded without it, though.

i'll probably keep my sn but i need to hide it somewhere, for now i just put it in the wardrobe.

those who ordered sn, where do you keep yours?
my parents sometimes visit my apartment and i don't want them to accidentally find it.

Hmm... Someone asking me where I hide my SN... Nope, not going to answer that! You're probably not a pro-lifer but who knows.

When I got my SN, I probably felt similar. I felt relief, but also it felt like, well now what? I wasn't quite ready, but also just grateful I had the SN.

I think for some of us, just having a method in case it gets worse can be really calming.

 

[ih34rty0u]

Hmm... Someone asking me where I hide my SN... Nope, not going to answer that! You're probably not a pro-lifer but who knows.

When I got my SN, I probably felt similar. I felt relief, but also it felt like, well now what? I wasn't quite ready, but also just grateful I had the SN.

I think for some of us, just having a method in case it gets worse can be really calming.

hah, im nowhere being a pro-lifer, but i get your point.

it's comforting to know other people have felt similar. i believed i was ready, but now im having second thoughts. maybe it'll be easier for me to get through a day now, knowing i can back out anytime.

 

[WPack]

Hey if you ever go through with it. I hope you have a peaceful CTB through it.

Just as others said just hide it until you are fully sure you want to do it.

 

[Kitsune_BCN]

Don't worry I think this is normal. Hide it somewhwere and take some days to breathe ^^

You eventually will make sense of all this