deadngoresurgery
Jezebel
- Jan 10, 2026
- 39
TW: Self harm
Hey guys, I'm just logging my feelings and methods of self harm today. So I live in my college's dorm and there are train tracks nearby. I've kinda made it a habit to go walk there every night while listening to acid bath to try and feel some kind of rush or happiness. It's where i used to hang out with someone i love...
So, i like to go there and there's a bunch of rocks near the tracks. I like to hit and swing my arm with these rocks, breaking my tissue and forming a pathetic little bump on my arm. The blood and blackness of my insides spreads out underneath my worthless, razorable skin. I like this method because i will pass out if i cut myself and it doesnt hurt as much as cutting, but it still hurts and good enough to form these beautiful bruises all over my weak skinny arm. i also dont pass out from this, but i have come close to. the next morning, it feels sore and hurts if i even touch it slightly, but i feel proud of the work i've done. my arm literally looks slightly disfigured because of the bumps that have formed from the bruises, which i admire. i go at night when its really cold, and it helps to numb the pain a bit. tonight, im gonna give myself some more and planning to hurt my face too. the goal by the end of the week is to be covered in bruises, specifically on my arm and stomach, and face (hopefully i dont pussy out). i also will take a bag to put some rocks in there and just swing them to my body with a lot of force. i wish people could throw rocks at me like that. im getting excited to do this. i also want to vomit out anything ive consumed today. i want to starve myself, my body is getting disgusting. fuck my life. i hope i somehow dont hear the train and it just fucking slices my body into gory pieces from its wheels so the bugs and insects can feed on my festering body.
why does life have to be like this.
Hey guys, I'm just logging my feelings and methods of self harm today. So I live in my college's dorm and there are train tracks nearby. I've kinda made it a habit to go walk there every night while listening to acid bath to try and feel some kind of rush or happiness. It's where i used to hang out with someone i love...
So, i like to go there and there's a bunch of rocks near the tracks. I like to hit and swing my arm with these rocks, breaking my tissue and forming a pathetic little bump on my arm. The blood and blackness of my insides spreads out underneath my worthless, razorable skin. I like this method because i will pass out if i cut myself and it doesnt hurt as much as cutting, but it still hurts and good enough to form these beautiful bruises all over my weak skinny arm. i also dont pass out from this, but i have come close to. the next morning, it feels sore and hurts if i even touch it slightly, but i feel proud of the work i've done. my arm literally looks slightly disfigured because of the bumps that have formed from the bruises, which i admire. i go at night when its really cold, and it helps to numb the pain a bit. tonight, im gonna give myself some more and planning to hurt my face too. the goal by the end of the week is to be covered in bruises, specifically on my arm and stomach, and face (hopefully i dont pussy out). i also will take a bag to put some rocks in there and just swing them to my body with a lot of force. i wish people could throw rocks at me like that. im getting excited to do this. i also want to vomit out anything ive consumed today. i want to starve myself, my body is getting disgusting. fuck my life. i hope i somehow dont hear the train and it just fucking slices my body into gory pieces from its wheels so the bugs and insects can feed on my festering body.
why does life have to be like this.
