Venting my scars

[blckfurmutt]

i have so many self harm scars all over my body and i used to like them but now i'm starting to really despise them, i used to wear them with pride, now it makes me feel so fucking ugly. especially now that i have a boyfriend and none of the women he follows on instagram look anything like me. not their race, not their body, just nothing. he tries reassuring me but his words don't mean a thing when the actions are different. my skin is scarred in every single possible place, my chest my legs my stomach my back. i don't have smooth beautiful skin and i never will. either i can cope by glamorizing it again or i can just keep being miserable and insecure over it. i'll never look feminine and delicate in a dress. i just look broken. imagine trying to walk down the aisle looking like me. i'm malnourished, no hips, no curves, and scarred head to toe. i hate my body. it's just stupid to try and act like something i'm not, i cant be like a beautiful delicate woman with how i look. they make me feel like some kind of animal.

 

[Deepdense]

You can find doctors who will use laser therapy to remove the scars.

 

[blckfurmutt]

You can find doctors who will use laser therapy to remove the scars.

yeah funny story, i have gotten that done on both of my wrists. it was extremely expensive, painful, and due to my skin color it didn't do much. the scars are still very apparent

 

[Deepdense]

yeah funny story, i have gotten that done on both of my wrists. it was extremely expensive, painful, and due to my skin color it didn't do much. the scars are still very apparent

What do the scars look like?

 

[violetforever]

especially now that i have a boyfriend and none of the women he follows on instagram look anything like me. not their race, not their body, just nothing. he tries reassuring me but his words don't mean a thing when the actions are different.

why is he your boyfriend?!

 

[blckfurmutt]

What do the scars look like?

theres too many to go into detail. itd be too long of a writing. i have two big scars on both wrists which i needed stitches for. i did try my best to get them removed through the laser scar removal treatment as much as possible and they aren't AS apparent but they are still definitely noticeable. no redness anymore. the others, everywhere else werent too bad, but they became keloids (raised and very bumpy and discolored). the rest of my entire body from my chest to my ankles is covered in them.

why is he your boyfriend?!

men are funny, cant live with them but you can't live without them either.

 

[greenbeans]

Have you thought of getting tattoos to cover them up thats what i plan on doing if i cannot afford the laser removal.

 

[Non_suicidal]

Relatable honestly

 

[39hatsune]

why is he following random women on instagram??

your scars dont make you ugly i felt a similar way about mine until i actually saw a girl in public with scars for the first time, i had never seen anyone else with them

i think she was beautiful and im sure you are too, even if you dont see it yourself

 

[sanctionedusage]

i dont have many scars, just 2 hypertrophic ones on each thigh (used to be 5, some went flat and white faster) and faded white ones all over my forearms

i honestly wouldnt feel like myself without them at this point and i like how they look lol

but i understand hating them and especially other people looking at them. its weirdly intimate and super uncomfortable. i have a makeup routine for covering them up, but for your whole body, why not try a tinted spf all over? it'll help them heal & cover up the visibility without having to spend 45 min applying and blending foundation all over. plus super affordable compared to laser, injections, etc.

stream2sea, ultrasun, kokua sun care (!!)

+ airbrush legs by sally hansen with a big brush

and obvi, none of this should be done for anyone but you. your bf is a fucking garbage pos scumbag if he's genuinely looking at random girls online, and nothing about you would be anything but a petty excuse for it.

 

[No_Body]

laser treatment, surgery, those aren't really options unfortunately

we have got to learn to live with them

 

[woofwag]

I understand. I have a lot of scars too, but they're mostly centralized around my upper arms and right thigh, with some scarring on my lower arms as well. It is definitely a challenge to walk around in a tank top or shorts that don't cover my scars (especially since I carved words into my thighs). But even though it's hard, I do still admire them. At worst I'm ambivalent about them. I promise they don't make you any less attractive. Tbh I don't even get comments about mine when I show them even though they are very visible and obviously self-harm. The only few comments that I got were people expressing sympathy and saying they've done the same. Most people are kind and don't find them to be turn-offs because they know why they're there. The people who do find them to be turn-offs are unempathetic assholes who haven't ever been in a place dark enough to even contemplate hurting themselves. And I could care less if those people think I'm beautiful or not, since I find them repulsive for lacking empathy in the first place.

 

[Deepdense]

theres too many to go into detail. itd be too long of a writing. i have two big scars on both wrists which i needed stitches for. i did try my best to get them removed through the laser scar removal treatment as much as possible and they aren't AS apparent but they are still definitely noticeable. no redness anymore. the others, everywhere else werent too bad, but they became keloids (raised and very bumpy and discolored). the rest of my entire body from my chest to my ankles is covered in them.

A good way to shrink and make keloid scars less visible is using diluted lemon juice. You should rub it over the scars then washing it off with warm water after about 20 minutes. About an hour after, you should rub on pure aloe Vera extract. This should be done every 1 to 2 days for about 3 months or more. Another way is to get liquid nitrogen, put some in a cup, then get a cotton ball or something similar and dip it in the liquid nitrogen. Press the cotton ball against the scars for about 10 seconds. This can be done every week or so. If you're lucky, this can completely get rid of the scars. If not, the scars will be generally smaller and less visible.

 

[blckfurmutt]

Have you thought of getting tattoos to cover them up thats what i plan on doing if i cannot afford the laser removal.

i really don't want tattoos because i am surprisingly religious and it doesn't align with my religion. also it doesnt full hide the scars depending on the type. have you seen before and after pictures of scar tattoo cover ups?

A good way to shrink and make keloid scars less visible is using diluted lemon juice. You should rub it over the scars then washing it off with warm water after about 20 minutes. About an hour after, you should rub on pure aloe Vera extract. This should be done every 1 to 2 days for about 3 months or more. Another way is to get liquid nitrogen, put some in a cup, then get a cotton ball or something similar and dip it in the liquid nitrogen. Press the cotton ball against the scars for about 10 seconds. This can be done every week or so. If you're lucky, this can completely get rid of the scars. If not, the scars will be generally smaller and less visible.

thank you so much i will try this

I understand. I have a lot of scars too, but they're mostly centralized around my upper arms and right thigh, with some scarring on my lower arms as well. It is definitely a challenge to walk around in a tank top or shorts that don't cover my scars (especially since I carved words into my thighs). But even though it's hard, I do still admire them. At worst I'm ambivalent about them. I promise they don't make you any less attractive. Tbh I don't even get comments about mine when I show them even though they are very visible and obviously self-harm. The only few comments that I got were people expressing sympathy and saying they've done the same. Most people are kind and don't find them to be turn-offs because they know why they're there. The people who do find them to be turn-offs are unempathetic assholes who haven't ever been in a place dark enough to even contemplate hurting themselves. And I could care less if those people think I'm beautiful or not, since I find them repulsive for lacking empathy in the first place.

the words part was relatable. it's weird because sometimes you feel like scars make you beautiful and at other times it's your biggest insecurity. i hope you feel better soon though <3

and thank you for your kind words

i dont have many scars, just 2 hypertrophic ones on each thigh (used to be 5, some went flat and white faster) and faded white ones all over my forearms

i honestly wouldnt feel like myself without them at this point and i like how they look lol

but i understand hating them and especially other people looking at them. its weirdly intimate and super uncomfortable. i have a makeup routine for covering them up, but for your whole body, why not try a tinted spf all over? it'll help them heal & cover up the visibility without having to spend 45 min applying and blending foundation all over. plus super affordable compared to laser, injections, etc.

stream2sea, ultrasun, kokua sun care (!!)

+ airbrush legs by sally hansen with a big brush

and obvi, none of this should be done for anyone but you. your bf is a fucking garbage pos scumbag if he's genuinely looking at random girls online, and nothing about you would be anything but a petty excuse for it.

this was very helpful advice and i appreciate it a lot. i'm going to purchase some tinted sunscreen and see how it goes, but so far i've been feeling quite better about the scars. i'm sorry you are on this forum, you seem nice.