Venting my mother makes me feel fat

[yousaidimsweet]

hi all, so i've been struggling with body issues quite some time now. for context, i'm 21 and was never overweight but always thought i looked like it. so i definitely struggle with how i view my body and what it actually looks like in the eyes of others. i have a friend who tells me that i look "like bones" which really compounds into some confusion about my own body.

but anyways. i like shopping at brandy because it seems to be the only type of clothing that suits my appearance (again for context i am also very flat lmfao) and my mom always laughs in my face about how the clothes barely fits me. i told her that i don't like how she does this, and she responded by saying that she didn't and got super defensive. i told her to just say sorry and she said it in a very demeaning way, not at all like she meant any of it. then i told her again to just say it like she actually means it, because she made me feel fat, and she told me that she didn't make me feel anything.

i'm just so done with my mother and my home life, and life has been beating me up lately. i talked extensively with my therapist about my relationship with my mother and it seemed to go well at first but then she always shows me how shit of a mother she is when she does things like this. i can't understand why a woman who is so emotionally incompetent would ever have a child, especially a daughter.

 

[amerie]

I relate my mom has been calling me fat since I was 8 and she denies it and says I only got fat as a teenager and wonders why I didn't stay skinny (sorry not trying to derail, but to show that I get it if that makes sense)

Don't take it personally, she's unhealed and hates herself and is projecting it onto you because you remind her of herself and her flaws. Try to distance yourself from her as much as you can and surround yourself with people who appreciate your body or see you outside of how you look. Life is too short for that.

 

[Lady_V]

Is your mother's body perfect? You have expressed how it hurts you, and if she still chooses to continue to do it, she wants to hurt you. My mother was 300 lbs and criticizing my 8yo body. Unhealed mothers are their daughters' enemies.