Discussion My Last Year on Earth

[Lost in a Dream]

I decided that since I wasn't able to end my life this year like I wanted, I'm going to give myself a whole year from now to party and have some fun. I'm tired of being miserable all the time, and I'd like to prove to the world that a person can still live a good, happy life and want to die. It probably makes no sense why I would want that under those conditions, but the thing is, I want to be in control when I die because I don't want to work for decades or get old. I don't want to die from cancer or a car accident, I want to do it on my own terms.

If I make my attempt next year and survive, or if someone tries to prevent me, then I can just BS my way through the hospital and therapy long enough to try again. This is why I believe more than anything that people should have the right to end their life. I would prefer it be peaceful, but since euthanasia isn't available, then hanging will have to do. I don't think I'm going to try buying SN again since my dad found mine the last time I was at the hospital, so I don't have access to it anymore.

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to exit like this, since it's probably easier to plan when I'm not feeling desperate to do it the whole time. I've been miserable long enough anyway, so I might as well make the most of the time I have left. Is anyone else thinking about trying this maybe? I get that most people on this forum are suffering horribly and that is why they want to die, but it doesn't always have to go that way.

 

[SVEN]

I truly hope you enjoy your year, no matter what you decide at the end of it.

 

[sevennn]

i made the same plans. but misery is hard to snap out of

 

[Lost in a Dream]

i made the same plans. but misery is hard to snap out of

It is, especially after being miserable for years. I still hate this reality but I'm hoping this will work out for me. Hope your plans work out well for you too.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

It's been a couple months since I last posted here, but I still think I've got my heart set on next October. I'm actually kinda glad I got to exist, even though I've been through a lot. I just wish I could get everyone who cares about me to understand that I want the freedom to exit any time I choose. Maybe if I'd had that guarantee from the very start, I wouldn't have ever felt trapped.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

So far, it's been an alright year for me, but somewhere around mid-January I got close to logging back in with another goodbye thread. It was too impulsive, so I didn't go through with it. I need to come up with something more peaceful like nitrogen.

I'm thinking about trying to exit some time around Halloween just because the fall is my favorite time of year. I'd like to enjoy that season one last time.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I'm thinking about going storm chasing this summer, just to see if I can get close to a tornado in real life. I won't use it as a ctb method because it's just as likely I could survive with horrible injuries, but this fall I'm considering decapitation as my go-to. I just have to get myself a rock climbing rope so I know it won't break. I'm going to use my car and the rope to do this, so with enough rum down the hatch, I think I can do it. I'm still afraid of traumatizing someone else by doing this, but I'm afraid it's unavoidable no matter what method I use.

i made the same plans. but misery is hard to snap out of

How is your last year going?

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I really am done with life. Only thing I still want to do is chase some storms this summer. After that I'm out of here. I'm going to buy another rope and get ready.

I really think that successfully ending my life is a process of overcoming my survival instinct. Everyone goes through their own process because we're all different, but mine was a series of failures to go through with it. Instead of making another goodbye thread I'm just going to post here every now and then until my final day. I don't know when it will be but I like it better this way.