PMDD is my official diagnosis. Pre-menstrual dysphoric disorder: a condition that affects my hormones so severely that for 2 weeks a month, I am faced with a debilitating wave of depression. Extreme suicidal ideation, lethargy, hopelessness, self hatred. It feels like it lasts forever, and I struggle to remember that only 1-2 weeks prior, I was largely okay. It's lead me to self harm, joining this website as a member, creates rifts in my relationships and responsibilities. I'm recently starting Zoloft (sertarine), it's been about a month and I'm seeing no change so far. I'm coming here looking for community and to see what advice/experience any of you may have with this. I'm just tired of the constant, vigorous, ups and downs of this condition. I'm exhausted, confused, embarrassed, and feel a bit invalid for experiencing such anguish despite it not being a constant depression.
I'm scared I'll commit suicide because I'm so wrapped up in an episode, and forget that there is always an end. That being said, after it ends, it always starts again. The constant fluctuation makes me dread the future, knowing I could flip any moment. Is the good worth staying for, even if the bad is always guaranteed to be looming ahead?
I'm just getting out of an episode as I write this, so I'll be in touch. If you struggle with this too, I see you, and your struggle is just as real as the next persons.
I'm scared I'll commit suicide because I'm so wrapped up in an episode, and forget that there is always an end. That being said, after it ends, it always starts again. The constant fluctuation makes me dread the future, knowing I could flip any moment. Is the good worth staying for, even if the bad is always guaranteed to be looming ahead?
I'm just getting out of an episode as I write this, so I'll be in touch. If you struggle with this too, I see you, and your struggle is just as real as the next persons.
