Discussion My experience with being suicidal

[BlooBerryBanjo3000]

Do you ever feel a certain level of upset (or maybe nothing at all), that you don't even think about killing yourself or how you'll do it, and all of the things you'll leave behind when you die? That you just do it, or at least try to. No prepping or planning, you just go straight for it. No hesitation, no fear.

Maybe you just want to get out of a situation or get out of your life. Maybe you've already thought about it, thought it through. Maybe you were just waiting for the opportunity to do it, waiting to reach your breaking point or past it, to just go through with it. At least, those are my cases.

I decided to wrap something around my neck last night, without any hesitation. I didn't even care about anything or anyone at the moment, I was just done. It felt good (I felt the slight tingling sensation when I leaned my neck forward). So good, that I want to do it again and actually go through with it. Maybe I've officially reached my breaking point, or have passed it to the point of no return.

 

[Pale_Rider]

Yes. My one good attempt I was given a third bottle of methadone instead of the usual two at the clinic. Of course I already knew if that happened I would drink all three of them, and thats what I did. So kind of. Really suicide creeped up slowly on me since my teens. When I was finally ready to try I thought very hard about it.