Method My Emergency Exit

[The Actual Devil]

Hi. I figured I'd stop by and say hello to the suicide side of the forum...suicide side...Sui-Side?
I've no active plans to CTB yet. But, as a realist, I like to have a backup plan. Eventually, I'll try to get a gas setup and put that aside as my retirement plan. As I've written in my profile:

I've watched as elderly family members choked to death slowly on their own saliva for sometimes hundreds of restless hours as their bodies stubbornly refused to give up the ghost until the bitter end. Nothing is gained by this. Dying of old age is not dying with dignity.

Dying painlessly in your sleep as your golden years drag on is for the lucky few. I've always had to make my own luck. I expect whatever time I have left to be no different.
At any rate, I wanted to share something with you besides waxing poetic about inevitability:


There it is: the titular emergency exit.

For those not in the loop (or that can't load the pics), these are 12-gauge, 3.5-inch Magnum buckshot shells, aka Super Magnums.
Yes, I have a shotgun meant to chamber them. Yes, I've test-fired this round. Yes, it kicks like a roided-up mule: I had bruises on my shoulder for weeks, despite the buttstock padding.
Yes, it is indeed overkill: that's the point.
"Why don't you just shove a stick of dynamite in your mouth?"
Would that I could. Hell, I'd go all Slim Pickens on a nuke if I could even type out this mostly-joking old-ass reference without feeling guilty about it.
Also, sorry to the admin/mods/community if I'm using the 'method' tag incorrectly. It is a method, though, yes?

Well, there you have it. If some wicked force raps upon my door with the intent to make my life unbearably worse, I will tell it to hold my drink as I dart off to my hidey-hole and proceed to create a sound loud enough to wake the dead as I add myself to their numbers. And if that day comes, I doubt I'll be of the mindset to say goodbye. So, if I'm ever gone for like, a year, or whatever, and you see this post buried by quite literally the lamentations of your fellow sufferers, feel free to necro it and leave farewells here, or on my profile. Plan A is gas, though--hopefully years (decades?) from now.

Oh, but N would be even better, you know? I could take night classes and become a biochemist in my spare time...or maybe a veterinarian? Oh, fuck, I have an idea!

 

[EmptyBottle]

Slim Pickens, I remember from my time searching "Divide by zero"

NN's my insurance but I doubt I'd implement it.

I'd prefer to leave a "Goodbye, if NN works" post.

Not sure if I should keep a 2 day queued post called "inactive" and mention "maybe I CTNB'd (caught the NIGHT bus) but more likely, I forgot or was otherwise unable to remove the post from queue."... then keep cancelling and requeueing it.

Come to think of it, the above text can serve just as well as a queued post.

 

[The Actual Devil]

Oh dang, I forgot about THAT Slim Pickens. I suppose the reference works either way, though. Love that music video.
Here's the one I was thinking of:



The actor Slim Pickens (his stage name, his real name was Louis Burton Lindley Jr.) plays Major Kong in Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.

 

[Griever]

I hope you find your peace, no matter when that may be, whether in life or death