Venting My Daydreams Keep Me Alive

[vanillamilkshakes]

My daydreams are the only thing keeping me alive.

I'm almost completely detached from my 'real' life, spending so much time in my head fantasising about living another life, being a different person, with a different family, friends, and so on. These thoughts almost comfort me, but each time I actually think of my 'real' life, I grow depressed. I have to realise that I'm living in a completely separate world in my head and snap out of it so I can finally begin to work up the courage to CTB again. I was ready to go last year, but I put it off for too long, and my SI came back to me.

 

[niki wonoto]

I can also relate. In fact, my 'existential depression' is mostly caused by all this 'reality .vs. imagination' dilemma, ie.: my imaginations/dreams is so much more better than this limited/limiting, depressing reality.

 

[OzymandiAsh]

I wish I even still had an imagination. I don't. I'm trapped in this reality now 24/7.

Imagine how much THAT fucking sux.

 

[NutOrat]

This's so relatable to me... Living these imaginary worlds, scenarios that, no matter how grounded, are pretty much impossible in reality for me, it's never going to be that good. It's the reason I've survived so long, just not fully experiencing reality. It's too boring, too cruel, too unfair. These negatives are present in fantasies too, but they're not as overwhelming, and I can deal with them, because there's more good. I wish all this life is just one giant, awful nightmare, after which we wake up in a much better world. But that too, is just a fantasy...

Sorry for the sour tone, you probably wanted to hear some encouragement instead. Just know that you're not alone in this, if that brings any comfort.