My CTB method should be here soon

[kyhoti]

I decided to purchase my method a few days ago. I just got confirmation that it is to arrive relatively soon. I still need a few bits and bobs for it, but this is a big step for me.

Now that procurement is out of the way, I need to figure out "where". I'm already living in a motel, so there's that, but the ladies who run this place are lovely, and I don't want to burden them.

I don't want to just disappear, like hiking off into the woods; I want to be found so that there is no question. Perhaps in a neutral place, like in the back of a large carpark, up against the fence or something. Most places near me close around 10 p.m. and re-open by 8 a.m., so sometime in the wee hours should give me the privacy. I'll have to explore and make sure the authorities don't do regular night patrols.

 

[dolemitedrums]

Is the method a secret?

 

[rdl]

What are you doing?

 

[sickofthisht]

I took was curious about your method

 

[kyhoti]

Not to be super secret, but I'm holding the method close until I have everything needed. If by some means I am being monitored for just this type of behavior (despite my efforts to stay discrete), I don't want to lose this way. Once I have everything, I will post the steps it took to purchase and set up etc., for informational purposes only, of course.

 

[kyhoti]

The last bit came in a few hours ago.

So: I live in the US, but have been blocked from owning guns. The ones I had have either been sold, or are in the hands of a trust to which I don't have access.

Funny thing, though, is that we can order black powder weapons over the internet, no background check needed and shipped straight to a residence. I bought and built a kit .44 calibre derringer. The powder and percussion caps came in, same way, right from a website.

The plan is to rig up a rope, for partial suspension, put it on, then use the derringer. If the derringer for whatever reason doesn't flip my switch, it will knock me out, letting the rope finish the job.

I've done the math on the physics for the derringer, so I shouldn't need the back-up, but I need to be sure I'm gone. Hence the rope. I've got a few days to get my location ironed out, and a few legal items to tie up, then I'm cashing in my ticket.

 

[DOHARDTHINGS24]

I decided to purchase my method a few days ago. I just got confirmation that it is to arrive relatively soon. I still need a few bits and bobs for it, but this is a big step for me.

Now that procurement is out of the way, I need to figure out "where". I'm already living in a motel, so there's that, but the ladies who run this place are lovely, and I don't want to burden them.

I don't want to just disappear, like hiking off into the woods; I want to be found so that there is no question. Perhaps in a neutral place, like in the back of a large carpark, up against the fence or something. Most places near me close around 10 p.m. and re-open by 8 a.m., so sometime in the wee hours should give me the privacy. I'll have to explore and make sure the authorities don't do regular night patrols.

Hey
Zero judgment on wanting to CTB, it's why I'm here. Zero judgment on method, not something I could do, don't have the skills or the capacity.
But I just wanted to chime in on the location. It's lovely that you have empathy for the women in the motel & I completely understand not wanting to do in the woods and not be found. But if you have the time to spare before your bus comes, I really encourage you to think about who will find you & have that guide you to a location. If there's any chance children can find you dead, particularly if it's going to be gruesome, avoid it, avoid it, avoid it. If there's a chance that it's someone you know, avoid it. I know people who have lifelong PTSD issues from the condition they found someone in, it was a horrific mess (not gunshot, don't want to expand on condition as it could identify as highly specific). And others who have suffered loss from loved ones CTB'ing, who didn't find the body, while they have suffered immensely, I always say it is easier to recover from grief than trauma (I feel qualified, I have experience of both in staggering degrees). I'm planning a hotel, locked door obviously, but gonna find somewhere with internal lockable door like bathroom or bedroom. Barricade from the inside with furniture as a precaution against SI but also to make entry that much harder. And a sign on the outside of that door saying it will be gruesome & not to enter & call emergency services.
I've personally spent far too much time in this process worrying about people IRL who don't deserve it AT ALL & I need to stop.
But I'm taking who finds me very seriously. They don't deserve it.
I don't know you & your circumstances & I'm sorry you're here, that any of us are here, but grateful that we have here.
I hope you can find a location that allows your method & causes minimum impact on the person who finds you but you have to do what you have to do in the time available to you.