My boyfriend attempted.

[betterinthedark]

Today while I was at work, my boyfriend tried to take his life. He's struggled with chronic depression and addiction since his early teens. We just spent a few days together, I slept at his house for a few days and he seemed happy and okay. Last night it was time for me to go home so I acted strange because my home life isn't good and I didn't want to go back. I let him know that but when I fell asleep he vented to me but I missed it. I told him he wasnt a failure and he's done so much already just by becoming sober. He then sent me a text a few hours later and said "I'm not sober, I'm sorry, I love you." After I got the police to him, he called me while I was in the ambulance and he said he didn't want to be here. I don't know what I did wrong. He swore he was sober, I always told him he could tell me anything and I wouldn't be angry, he was honest about smoking again, but he hid this from me. I thought I made him feel safe enough to talk to me but I failed. I thought he knew he could come to me for anything and that I would drop everything to help him. I feel like a failure of a significant other. I'm so lost. I don't know what to do, I helped him get a job and I helped him through his last break up. What should I do, how do I help him now? I don't want to lose him.

 

[Sphinxi]

As cliche as it sounds, you cannot help someone who doesn't want to be helped. If he wants to die, and is going to hide things from you and whatnot, then all that you can do is your best to help him. Remember that this wasn't your fault, and anything that happens in the future also isn't your fault.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

I'm so sorry. His attempt is not your fault at all. Please don't blame yourself. He needs to want to help himself. If he doesn't want to, there's not much you can do. :( I hope you can find ways to take care of yourself during this time.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I'm sorry OP. I can't imagine the stress. It sounds that you care a lot for him. Please don't be too hard on yourself. His actions and the things he hid are his.

Perhaps when time passes and he recovers from the attempt you may be able to talk more directly with him. In the meantime, I wish you peace of mind. It must be difficult.

 

[betterinthedark]

I'm sorry OP. I can't imagine the stress. It sounds that you care a lot for him. Please don't be too hard on yourself. His actions and the things he hid are his.

Perhaps when time passes and he recovers from the attempt you may be able to talk more directly with him. In the meantime, I wish you peace of mind. It must be difficult.

I will talk to him when he's better. I just don't know where to go from here.

 

[_AllCatsAreGrey_]

I will talk to him when he's better. I just don't know where to go from here.

I imagine he feels similar. Not knowing what to do is uncomfortable. Everything is up in the air. I hope you're able to find the space to take care of yourself too. One day at a time.

 

[betterinthedark]

Just an update. He's in the hospital and I got contact with his mom and we're discussing recovery plans. I told her about his substance abuse history and what's been going on and we are going to try our hardest to help him be better. Thank you for your kind words

 

[Alpacachino]

Do you also suffer from similar issues or are you here mainly to understand him better?

 

[betterinthedark]

Do you also suffer from similar issues or are you here mainly to understand him better?

I do not personally abuse substances. As a child my uncle was always abusing in my houses garage. I witnessed his deterioration due to hard drugs, drugs my boyfriend is addicted to, eventually my uncle died from those drugs. I have first hand experience with people who struggle with addiction. I do have Chronic depression though and I understand those parts of his struggles better, but as someone who watched family lose to drugs, I'm not letting it happen again.

 

[betterinthedark]

My life feels so dull not having him around. I hope I can see him soon but I hope he's better when I can see him.

My life feels so dull not having him around. I hope I can see him soon but I hope he's better when I can see him.

It's strange how life goes on when it's someone else. Time doesn't feel stopped since he's overdosed, whenever I failed and got admitted time would feel like it stopped. But here I am back at work performing my tasks, tomorrow I will work, and the day after ill just stay in my room drawing or something.

 

[Non_suicidal]

I will talk to him when he's better. I just don't know where to go from here.

Hug him, make sure he knows he's loved, also, it's not your fault that he was hiding things from you, just make sure he knows it's an equal relationship.