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J

JustSomeDude

Member
Dec 10, 2021
13
I've been having this incredibly interesting experience over the last few days. I've been watching season 1 of Euphoria with my girlfriend. I've seen it before but this is her first time watching it. We have this running joke that Rue only ever does drugs when she feels any kind of emotion. Sadness? Drugs. Happiness? Drugs. Literally any feelings? Drugs. It's been quite fun to point out the pattern and laugh about it.

I've been reflecting on it. It's honestly the kind of behavior I would do a few years ago. Not just with drugs, but with self-harm too. I've gotten better with coping. Somethings though, I find myself slipping back. "Ohh you and GF are fighting? Damn a knife to the throat sounds pretty good right about now." "Oh, you finally feel like you can spend the rest of your life with someone you met? You would probably see if you've got any OC's to down just in case it doesn't work out." It can be overwhelming.

If anyone has any advice on how to express these feelings with my GF without coming across as manipulative that'd be appreciated. Like I don't want to be in our next argument and blurt out I want to kill myself, seems fucked up. As always, thanks friends, may you all find peace
 

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