Venting Making metaphorical space to kill myself

[GUZMA]

Hi all!! I come with good news about my story :)

I've almost successfully cut off one of my entire friend groups, I realised I was wrong and they do actually care about me a lot so I've blocked all of them and can safely move on now

Anyone irl doesn't like me anymore so I believe I am beginning to be truly alone aside from family

This gives me the space to ctb without guilt as they'll probably not notice I'm even more absent!!

Might order sn soon!

Thank you for reading

 

[LostHope556]

You're a lot more ready than me. I feel like a poser in comparison. I just flirt with the idea of ctb, but I don't have the actual balls to do it, or even take concrete action like what you did.

Honestly, I feel ashamed of my own weakness.

 

[GUZMA]

You're a lot more ready than me. I feel like a poser in comparison. I just flirt with the idea of ctb, but I don't have the actual balls to do it, or even take concrete action like what you did.

Honestly, I feel ashamed of my own weakness.

Holy shit dude DW almost none of us are posers here, we all have our own individual struggles and ways to cope with it, I've been mental for years so this is just what's happened over time. You do not need to Ctb and if you think there may still be hope for you I implore you to explore your options, there are no posers here aside from the pro lifers that pretend to have the same struggles just to stop people from making their own choices

Do not take action if you are not ready and 100% sure, you need to know you won't regret anything

And honestly while I wrote that post I was manic, still am a bit, forgot to take my meds, I'm not even sure if I made the right choice that day

So in short do what you're ready to do when you know you want to do it, let it be healing or ctb

 

[LostHope556]

Holy shit dude DW almost none of us are posers here, we all have our own individual struggles and ways to cope with it, I've been mental for years so this is just what's happened over time. You do not need to Ctb and if you think there may still be hope for you I implore you to explore your options, there are no posers here aside from the pro lifers that pretend to have the same struggles just to stop people from making their own choices

Do not take action if you are not ready and 100% sure, you need to know you won't regret anything

And honestly while I wrote that post I was manic, still am a bit, forgot to take my meds, I'm not even sure if I made the right choice that day

So in short do what you're ready to do when you know you want to do it, let it be healing or ctb

I just woke up this morning and this is so beautiful to read. Thank you for being kind to me when I was being very unkind to myself.

And thank you for validating my struggle as real. Damn.. I really fucking needed to hear that.

Thank you.

My SN arrives in about an hour, but I don't think I'm ready to use it.

I did have a thought though, that if I did use it, I would want to be up on a mountain in nature somewhere. Somewhere beautiful, not in bed in my shitty apartment.

Had a beautiful, freeing dream last night too. Almost like my subconscious is relieved at this new beautiful path in front of me. I don't know if that path is even ctb or something else, but it feels really good.

Thank you friend, you really helped me today

 

[GUZMA]

I just woke up this morning and this is so beautiful to read. Thank you for being kind to me when I was being very unkind to myself.

And thank you for validating my struggle as real. Damn.. I really fucking needed to hear that.

Thank you.

My SN arrives in about an hour, but I don't think I'm ready to use it.

I did have a thought though, that if I did use it, I would want to be up on a mountain in nature somewhere. Somewhere beautiful, not in bed in my shitty apartment.

Had a beautiful, freeing dream last night too. Almost like my subconscious is relieved at this new beautiful path in front of me. I don't know if that path is even ctb or something else, but it feels really good.

Thank you friend, you really helped me today

I would definitely recommend going somewhere like in nature that you feel comfortable with, usually nature gives you the space you need to think about everything clearly and even if you don't ctb you could end up having a different view on the world after, personally this is something I've experienced.
(Maybe you'll find what your subconscious was trying to tell you there?)


I'm really glad I could help you man, we're all in this together the best thing we can do for eachother is to help