Life insurance

[thecountdown]

So here's the plan. I'm not working right now, anxiety/panic attacks/paranoia/delusions/regrets so I'm broke but I'm planning on going back to work soon. I owe close to twenty thousand, two of which have a family cosigner. I know I'm going to kill myself but I thought it might be nice if I could leave something behind for all the money I've wasted and taken from my loved ones, although I wonder if that would feel like drug money to them. Fuck it, if they don't want the money I'll leave a note saying they can give it to charity. Plus that can be used to pay off whatever debt I have left. So I'm going to start working again, somehow, and start to pay for a life insurance claim for at least 500 thousand. I've read that if you off yourself within the first two years they won't pay out but after that you're good. I'll look into that when I read the actual policy. During those two years I plan on getting my gun license and getting a gun, then when I know for sure it will pay out I'll do it. I do have a little criminal record and documented mental health issues so I hope that's not an option. If I can't I plan on taking a ton of xanax and SN-ing it. Either way two year countdown I hope. If anyone has any knowledge of life insurance that would be great. I also want to say that I'm not doing it for the money, I genuinely want to kill myself. I just thought I might as well leave some money behind if I'm going to do it.