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illAF

Specialist
Jun 19, 2023
329
Well, just as the title says.
I did not really tried to CTB, I tried to see if I could be able to do it, if I could find my sweetspot etc. It was more like training.

Anyway. I just saw the sky, it was beautiful. And I was thinking "what a good night to go". So I tried.

The problem is I am very scared of hanging + I really don't want my roomates to find my corpse hanged.

I plan to go with SN.

If I had done the regimen today, I would have done it tonight. But I haven't.

The problem is that I seem to find the strength to ctb ONLY on some impulses.
And with SN, I know I can't do it on an impulse, it has to be prepared.
Or can I ? Could I try without having done the regimen ? I don't eat much during the days (only one banana today). I have drink one beer. And I still have the antiemetics and the benzos. Could I try tonight, even without having done the regimen ?

I see people here planning a date etc. I don't seem to be able to do that. It seems I could only go on an impulse.

How to deal with that ?

Sorry for the rent and the bad English.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
12,845
And with SN, I know I can't do it on an impulse, it has to be prepared.
Or can I ? Could I try without having done the regimen ? I don't eat much during the days (only one banana today). I have drink one beer. And I still have the antiemetics and the benzos. Could I try tonight, even without having done the regimen ?
It's not recommended to do SN on impulse. Not even in small doses "just to try".


 
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I

illAF

Specialist
Jun 19, 2023
329
It's not recommended to do SN on impulse. Not even in small doses "just to try".


In a way, knowing that people actually died when they just wanted to try a few grams, it makes me a bit more confident about doing it when it is on an impulse and without having accomplished all the regimen.

Don't take me wrong :

- I am REALLY sorry and sad about people dying when it was not their intention. I really am.
- I know it is waaaay better to not act impulsive, to plan it, to follow the regimen etc.

But, well, I don't know, I am so confused.

I have a big headache and sensation that my head is turning. That might be because I just tried partial.

Sorry if what I write does not make much sense.
 
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K

koalamenace12

Member
Mar 6, 2024
98
Well, just as the title says.
I did not really tried to CTB, I tried to see if I could be able to do it, if I could find my sweetspot etc. It was more like training.

Anyway. I just saw the sky, it was beautiful. And I was thinking "what a good night to go". So I tried.

The problem is I am very scared of hanging + I really don't want my roomates to find my corpse hanged.

I plan to go with SN.

If I had done the regimen today, I would have done it tonight. But I haven't.

The problem is that I seem to find the strength to ctb ONLY on some impulses.
And with SN, I know I can't do it on an impulse, it has to be prepared.
Or can I ? Could I try without having done the regimen ? I don't eat much during the days (only one banana today). I have drink one beer. And I still have the antiemetics and the benzos. Could I try tonight, even without having done the regimen ?

I see people here planning a date etc. I don't seem to be able to do that. It seems I could only go on an impulse.

How to deal with that ?

Sorry for the rent and the bad English.
never apologize for bad english!
 
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Reactions: illAF