Discussion "Just Be Yourself"

[ma0]

What the fuck does this even mean? Seriously, this has to be one of the worst pieces of advice that people throw around all the time. Does it mean I should speak my mind? What if someone thinks we should kill all the jews? Should that person be allowed to say that?

Maybe it means you should do whatever you want, and not let others put you down, but what I want is to fucking die, and apparently that's an issue, so I shouldn't be myself? Hypocrite much?

Or perhaps it means not to mindlessly agree to whatever people say, but as a society we have been conditioned to follow tasks others assign to us. "Being yourself" in that context will get you labelled as a disobedient asshole, so now what?

This is one of the vaguest nothing burgers of motivation I've ever heard. You may as well be saying "Just get better." Yeah, thanks.

What do you guys think? I really wanna hear some more opinions on this, because I personally hate it.

 

[KillingPain267]

I just wanna hang

 

[Opera]

Its really vague. When kids act themselves they are rowdy. When adults have hobbies they are "too old" for it. The hell are we supposed to be then? Only the "socially acceptable" kind?

 

[Electra]

Idk what that means either. You're constantly changing and reinventing yourself. The only constant is change.

 

[Pluto]

 

[Hollowman]

Kinda hard to be myself with almost no identity anymore. Guess I'll just be nobody.

 

[depthss]

i feel like most people that say things would still judge certain people for different things, its just a random thing people say

 

[identity0]

It is my most disliked phrase. There are many angles from which i can look at it. I see it as an evil mindfuck trap: you are always yourself, you can't control that, and being yourself must come naturally, without trying, rather than some intentional active effort to "try to be yourself". So saying it to someone is like a curse. Another angle is that I suppose everything just happened to effortlessly go well for the idiots that say it, and they want to say it's your fault that the same didnt happen for you, because you're somehow inherently flawed and unable to be your authentic self, which i can only see as incredibly twisted and offensive.

 

[EternalLight]

Who am I? What is the self? My consciousness has existed in a constant state of transformation since I was born. With other people, we also have different personas depending on the role we play at any given time, and is any of them more myself than others?

Anyway, despite the wording, that phrase is often used to mean relax, be sincere, and don't fabricate things about yourself, and that's always wise advice, especially in romantic contexts, where it's often said.

 

[Jon Arbuckle]

people who say "be yourself" are extremely bland, extremely inoffensive people with no major baggage. They think everyone is like them, and they don't realize some people have horrendous personality issues. I am a very disagreeable, abrasive person, and basically every time I've "been myself" in a situation it's ended badly.

 

[atrophy]

"Just be yourself" but if you don't conform to their standards, you're a weirdo.

It's just a cover for their lack of understanding of how to actually give advice to help someone.

People who pretend to be helpful and kind giving out such free advice do the most damage.

 

[zengiraffe]

"Just be yourself" is what people say to other people trying to make friends or find a romantic partner. It's good advice. It's short for "Don't pretend to be something you're not to make others like you." For example, let's say you hate rock music, but you run into someone who loves rock music and you want to be friends with them, so you pretend you like rock music to make yourself more likeable to this person. Great, you're friends now, but your new rock friend often shares rock music with you, and invites you to rock concerts, which you may listen to and go to out of politeness, but it's really mentally and emotionally taxing since you actually lowkey hate rock music. Maintaining this friendship comes with a heavy burden on your end because it started due to a lie: you pretending to like rock music when you actually don't, or in order words: you weren't yourself. So just be yourself.

 

[Death Of The Soul]

"Just be yourself" is what people say to other people trying to make friends or find a romantic partner. It's good advice. It's short for "Don't pretend to be something you're not to make others like you." For example, let's say you hate rock music, but you run into someone who loves rock music and you want to be friends with them, so you pretend you like rock music to make yourself more likeable to this person. Great, you're friends now, but your new rock friend often shares rock music with you, and invites you to rock concerts, which you may listen to and go to out of politeness, but it's really mentally and emotionally taxing since you actually lowkey hate rock music. Maintaining this friendship comes with a heavy burden on your end because it started due to a lie: you pretending to like rock music when you actually don't, or in order words: you weren't yourself. So just be yourself.

This is truly what that advice means, being yourself means not compromising your own values for the sake of politeness or likability with others. Be who you are unapologetically, while remaining kind to others. Kindness is paramount, and that means to yourself as well. Doing what others want without regards to the self is not kind, it's self defeating, counter productive and short sighted. It's a difficult and constant battle but one worth fighting.