Help Job interview tomorrow; might be my last chance. How do I look less unsettling?

[4Icarus]

It's at Aldi. It'd be really really nice because it's part time, there's a manager who is also trans according to my sources, I'll get to sit instead of stand and pivot. My close friend works literally right next to the store so the bus schedule will be less of a problem and it pays enough that I could work less than 30 hours.

I also have. So, so much shit that makes me unhirable. I'm autistic and look really fucking unsettling apparently, I cannot drive, I have like community health work training and appointments that could make my first two weeks really inconvenient and hard to speak up about.

Tried to call a couple warmlines to get some assistance real time because I was given a couple numbers that really got my hopes up but they don't seem to be active anymore. Naturally, I don't feel comfortable showing my face and I'm recognizable enough that my paranoid ass doesn't wanna risk being found in the wild but just in general:

What can I do that screams "I'm mentally stable enough to not cause you problems and will, in fact, be an asset to you. Hire me as soon as possible," without seeming desperate? I know it's a lot to ask because nobodies getting hired right now but I know there *has* to be someone here who's worked an HR job before. Please help?
I may not have many chances left here but the fact that I'm posting here at least implies what's at stake and most of my charm came out of a bottle, evidently, because I had way better luck with people as a drunk. That is no longer an option.

 

[BradGuy123]

Hello. Trans ally here. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I really hope you get this job. I don't work in HR. I really suck at job interviews. You are not alone. Everyone hates them. Since I'm not good at job interviews, I don't have any specific advice to give you. But you could use AI to help. You can't use it on the interview. You can use it ahead of time to come up with possible answers or ways to sell yourself. The thing is that because you can't use it on the interview you'll have to use it now and memorize what it tells you. Not necessarily word for word but memorize the concepts.

I've run into limits with Chat GPT where it tells me I can't ask any more questions. But I have not reached a limit with copilot.microsoft.com. Here is an example.

Me (what I type into Copilot):
What can I say on a job interview to indicate that I am mentally unstable, won't cause problems, and will be an asset?

What AI (Copilot) said to me:
"I'm someone who thrives with structure and clear expectations. I take pride in being reliable, respectful, and focused on doing the job well. I've had to overcome a lot to get here, and that's made me resourceful, self-aware, and committed to showing up fully. I'm looking for a role where I can contribute without burning out—and this position seems like a great fit."

Good luck to you. Sending you lots of positive thoughts. You've got this.

 

[sadman1897]

Congrats on the new gig! Wishing you luck!

 

[Lady_V]

This is really hard not knowing what you look like, but the basics? Wash yourself and especially your hair before. Subdue any makeup you use, no bright lipsticks, use neutral eyeshadow. If you use eyeliner, only use it on the top eyelid, not the bottom. Make sure your hands look good, no chipped nail polish & clean fingernails. Iron any clothes you will wear. If you have super bushy brows, maybe groom them? Maybe tying your hair back to look more professional? Sorry if this is not useful, like I said, really hard without knowing your face.

But good luck!

 

[amerie]

Like your physical appearance or mannerisms?? Just watch a successful interview example with someone who's your ethnicity and gender (this does matter) and copy their mannerisms.

You can also find a YouTuber who is your gender, age, and ethnicity who's really known for their humor and personality and copy it. Trust me twin.

Learn about the company and seem genuinely passionate about what you're talking about and ALWAYS have a question at the end.

My friend is very autistic passing and has a job at Popeyes so good luck.

 

[4Icarus]

So, first, thank you all for the advice. This is all so, so nice after all the fear today.

I guess I do need to open up a bit more, huh? Fuck it - not many people who look like me but that can change tonight.

I guess I can give some vague descriptors - I'm a white trans man and I probably should've specified that. Been on T for a hot minute, roughly 6 years now.

Fluffy mohawk I never put up, round glasses, I look like 5 years younger than I actually am. I'm scrawny as fuck, 5'7". I've been told I sound like David Spade when he was younger - which I don't watch a lot of movies but I guess sounding like Emperor Kuzco does explain some misgivings in sounding more uppity? I do sound nerdy as all fuck otherwise.

I also have these massive eyes that are kind of scary? Idk, I don't know how to maintain eye contact and look nonthreatening. Just caused someone to get really fucking scared because I kinda just walked towards them while staring off into space in their general direction while I was walking to the Walgreens and I still feel god awful from how they looked at me.

I do not mind cutting my hair to appear more professional, I would just have to do it by myself tonight with my clippers and a pair of strong scissors: I did already trim it today because someone called it a mullet yesterday and that made me wanna jump into the river. Despite everything, I do occasionally use makeup to appear more put together than I am, but that may not be the strat here. I'm gonna assume perfume/cologne may not be the best idea.

This is really hard not knowing what you look like, but the basics? Wash yourself and especially your hair before. Subdue any makeup you use, no bright lipsticks, use neutral eyeshadow. If you use eyeliner, only use it on the top eyelid, not the bottom. Make sure your hands look good, no chipped nail polish & clean fingernails. Iron any clothes you will wear. If you have super bushy brows, maybe groom them? Maybe tying your hair back to look more professional? Sorry if this is not useful, like I said, really hard without knowing your face.

But good luck!

Honestly, I did not think about my eyebrows here, maybe that can also make me look like I got my shit together. Also, for some reason, Ironing my clothes didn't occur to me either.

The makeup thing is actually exactly what I used to do pre-t, that's stellar advice. I used to use neutral contours to make myself look younger/older when I felt it called for that. I should probably also shave. That might do me some favors.

Like your physical appearance or mannerisms?? Just watch a successful interview example with someone who's your ethnicity and gender (this does matter) and copy their mannerisms.

You can also find a YouTuber who is your gender, age, and ethnicity who's really known for their humor and personality and copy it. Trust me twin.

Learn about the company and seem genuinely passionate about what you're talking about and ALWAYS have a question at the end.

My friend is very autistic passing and has a job at Popeyes so good luck.

Ah, passion. How I miss feeling passion.
Gotta remember how to make people laugh around here, too. My go-to question is about the work environment, the workplace culture, how people get along. I worry recently that it might imply I'm sniffing for drama, though? Or that it may show I'm insecure in how I get along at work socially.

Miiiiight switch it up, ask What I can do to succeed with them or look like a model employee but that might look like kissing up? Idk.

Anyways - time to look through my lets player playlist and see who sounds the most hirable. Maybe I can try to mimic Northernlion.

 

[avalokitesvara]

If you're presenting as male, I don't think wearing makeup is going to be helpful. Unfortunately normies, even if they're not actively transphobic, expect people to slot neatly into the "man" box or "woman" box. If you're wearing makeup with facial hair, you're between boxes and normies won't know what to make of you.

- definitely cut your mohawk off. It's not a professional look. A buzzcut could increase the risk of appearing threatening/unsettling, but at least it's neat and more neutral than a scruffy mohawk.
- SMILE. When the interviewer smiles, smile back. I think eye contact is less important than successfully mirroring the emotional and professional expressions of the person in front of you.
- Watch out for your hand and arm gestures. When I'm nervous I start gesticulating wildly and it looks crazy. Professional people don't do that. They talk with their hands in their lap or behind their back, or at most one hand emphasising a key point.
- Ironed clothes, trimmed nails, brushed
teeth, neat hair, no jewellery.

Good luck!

 

[misty]

Of course every interview will be different but at my most recent interview I had to tell them I had appointments etc that would interfere with starting work too, and I still got the job! Be honest with how it may affect your work hours, but make sure to make it really clear that it is only temporary and that your attendance will be reliable (not sure if ive explained that right? for example make it known that there isnt a chance you will suddenly need an extra week off or anything yk). Its pretty common at interviews for people to say their earliest start date would be 2 weeks anyway since thats a usual resignation period at previous jobs. I also cant drive as well haha so when ive had interviews and that question has come up i have just said i have reliable transport and thats all! ubers and public transport are considered reliable transport if it gets you to work and tbh im pretty sure they legally cant ask for proof unless your job requires a license to drive work vehicles or whatever. Wishing you good luck!!

 

[Lady_V]

So, first, thank you all for the advice. This is all so, so nice after all the fear today.

I guess I do need to open up a bit more, huh? Fuck it - not many people who look like me but that can change tonight.

I guess I can give some vague descriptors - I'm a white trans man and I probably should've specified that. Been on T for a hot minute, roughly 6 years now.

Fluffy mohawk I never put up, round glasses, I look like 5 years younger than I actually am. I'm scrawny as fuck, 5'7". I've been told I sound like David Spade when he was younger - which I don't watch a lot of movies but I guess sounding like Emperor Kuzco does explain some misgivings in sounding more uppity? I do sound nerdy as all fuck otherwise.

I also have these massive eyes that are kind of scary? Idk, I don't know how to maintain eye contact and look nonthreatening. Just caused someone to get really fucking scared because I kinda just walked towards them while staring off into space in their general direction while I was walking to the Walgreens and I still feel god awful from how they looked at me.

I do not mind cutting my hair to appear more professional, I would just have to do it by myself tonight with my clippers and a pair of strong scissors: I did already trim it today because someone called it a mullet yesterday and that made me wanna jump into the river. Despite everything, I do occasionally use makeup to appear more put together than I am, but that may not be the strat here. I'm gonna assume perfume/cologne may not be the best idea.

Honestly, I did not think about my eyebrows here, maybe that can also make me look like I got my shit together. Also, for some reason, Ironing my clothes didn't occur to me either.

The makeup thing is actually exactly what I used to do pre-t, that's stellar advice. I used to use neutral contours to make myself look younger/older when I felt it called for that. I should probably also shave. That might do me some favors.

Ah, passion. How I miss feeling passion.
Gotta remember how to make people laugh around here, too. My go-to question is about the work environment, the workplace culture, how people get along. I worry recently that it might imply I'm sniffing for drama, though? Or that it may show I'm insecure in how I get along at work socially.

Miiiiight switch it up, ask What I can do to succeed with them or look like a model employee but that might look like kissing up? Idk.

Anyways - time to look through my lets player playlist and see who sounds the most hirable. Maybe I can try to mimic Northernlion.

Oh, you're a trans man! Idk why I thought trans woman. Way easier now. Def don't feel forced to wear makeup or conform to being fem, foundation though, could help make you look well rested and have clearer skin. If you have a mohawk, I would give it a little trim. Mohawks are seen as super edgy. Once you get the job I'm sure you'll have way more freedom to do what you want with your appearance. And cologne is probably okay, just one spritz from a distance, tho!

Eye contact is funny but I find 2 seconds of eye contact with a little smile or head nod to acknowledge the other person you're walking towards is good. When the interviewer is giving you an introduction, try to maintain eye contact until you move on/ sit down, then just look in their general direction (like their active hands or desk) look up every now and then when they ask you a direct question to see if they are looking at you. Maintain it if you are answering a question; it shows confidence. Then you can drop your graze. If they drop their gaze at any time, you do so too. When you're saying your goodbyes, maintain eye contact again.
You won't have to mask forever. Once they (your coworkers) get to know you, they'll know you're harmless. Just think of it as being fake to get the job, we all do it lol.

 

[darksouls]

good luck