Ive been watching videos of people killing themselves

[Subhumano]

This will make me stronger

 

[claracatchingthebus]

do you feel like it lessens fear or does anything other than cause distress?

i tried to see something like that once to de-sensitize myself but it made me just feel traumatized and deplorable for having seen it. I suppose it won't matter once I ctb.

 

[Subhumano]

do you feel like it lessens fear or does anything other than cause distress?

i tried to see something like that once to de-sensitize myself but it made me just feel traumatized and deplorable for having seen it. I suppose it won't matter once I ctb.

My goal was to lessen the fear. But it actually makes it more scary.

 

[SailorBlue]

I've done this before and it traumatized me more than anything else.

 

[knickknack81]

Depends on the videos. Some are more horrific than others due the graphic nature of some of them. I will say the videos of those jumping off buildings does give me hope that SI can be overcome and that the ones I've seen show that done from the right height, it makes the odds for an instant death much more likely.

 

[LostMary]

Where can you provide source?

 

[Namelesa]

I have watched some ctb videos too but I wasn't traumatized by them nor never felt anything negative from them, maybe even some happiness with that the person who succeeded in their attempt isn't suffering anymore. I am probably just really desensitized to death or something. Don't know if that says anything bad about me. I haven't ever touched videos displaying more bloody or gory methods tho as I am quite squeamish and those would traumatize and scare me.

 

[Worndown]

You see some hesitate before doing it. Some just get right to it.
It makes you appreciate the magnitude of the choice and the situation putting them before the camera.
The humanity cannot be ignored.

You can also learn from their gift of video. They paid it forward.

 

[TAW122]

I have seen some videos too (including some more high profile ones like Ronnie McNutt one) and sometimes part of me is a bit taken back by the explosion and violentness of the method, but the logical side of me tries to rationalize that death will always be a messy thing, the only difference is the degree of messiness, the more peace ones, leave less of a mess, and are a bit less scary to witness. However, I'm not going to my pesky SI or any doubts get into my way, hence I try to steel my nerves and focus on it so when the time comes for me, it won't be as difficult.

I agree with @Worndown

 

[thelastmessiah]

I'm really desensitized to gore tbh, I just feel jealous they have the courage to do it and I don't yet.

 

[nuva]

after some of the videos I'm upset that I can't get a gun..
in a way, it even give hope, like "if they can do it, maybe I can too"

 

[loggingin]

i only see suicides via ukraine/russia war videos on reddit. not sure if i became desensitized at all. i cant imagine where you guys are going for your footage

do you feel like it lessens fear or does anything other than cause distress?

i tried to see something like that once to de-sensitize myself but it made me just feel traumatized and deplorable for having seen it. I suppose it won't matter once I ctb.

 

[claracatchingthebus]

i only see suicides via ukraine/russia war videos on reddit. not sure if i became desensitized at all. i cant imagine where you guys are going for your footage

It's better not to know. I dont think i sought it out. It just mad me feel sad and awful after rather than able to tolerate more awfulness and the possibility of my own death. It's not helpful and just fucking horrible.

 

[EmptyBottle]

There was a time where I watched some, hoping it was me... the death wish faded and its been a while since I watched.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

This will make me stronger

I also saw many of them. The hanging videos are kinda irritating. Some of them get unconscious instantly and some suffer so much. Also what I just don't get is why some of them place the knot on the front side of their neck. The moments right before they stop from the stool is interesting. Some of them have a final thought if they should or shouldn't others just end it within anything.

 

[darksouls]

suicides always make me sad
I dont understand why more and more people are being produced
there are so many people who are suffering
why cant we take care of these people first?

 

[EmptyBottle]

suicides always make me sad
I dont understand why more and more people are being produced
there are so many people who are suffering
why cant we take care of these people first?

true, taking care of each other and those in need can reduce the 'need' to CTB.
I wish the method info was just some curiousity vs things ppl actually practice

 

[Marcy1024]

I just realized wether I can see their faces the video would affect me. So, for me only encourage if the face is not showed in the video. I am not saying of is blurred, that doesnt count. If is a hanging only their back must be visible for example

 

[ChaseTheSun]

I also watch these videos to desensitize myself. Hopefully one day I will find the courage to do it myself.

It is really weird, because the footage of calms me more down than knowing the numbers of suicide.

 

[thaelyana]

This will make me stronger

Me too! I put myself in their place and it gives me a lot of pleasure. strange

 

[EmptyBottle]

Me too! I put myself in their place and it gives me a lot of pleasure. strange

Wow same, maybe wishing the person who's head is exploding was me at one point

 

[thaelyana]

Wow same, maybe wishing the person who's head is exploding was me at one point

Yes!! EXACTLY! But personally I only watch videos of what I could do: hanging, jumping through a building, SN (without vomit lol). I'm looking for real vlogs. Know the state of mind etc.

Putting myself in their place makes me so happy, I imagine the world after me.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Yes!! EXACTLY! But personally I only watch videos of what I could do: hanging, jumping through a building, SN (without vomit lol). I'm looking for real vlogs. Know the state of mind etc.

Putting myself in their place makes me so happy, I imagine the world after me.

I watch the practical to less practical.... I assume u mean jump *from* buildings vs *thru* buildings (tho thru is still a possibility, thru to the floor)

 

[thaelyana]

I watch the practical to less practical....

Doesn't it make you nauseous? Heads that explode!! I remember when I was 15 years old I came across a video of a man exploding in Ukraine. I was going to throw up. fuck. 3 years later I still remember it

I assume u mean jump *from* buildings vs *thru* buildings (tho thru is still a possibility, thru to the floor)

Yes!! It's my translator who is unbearable

 

[darkmango]

I've watched some videos and the ones of people taking SN doesn't make it my first choice to CTB anymore. And some videos I see make me feel like a creepy creeper.

 

[EmptyBottle]

Doesn't it make you nauseous? Heads that explode!! I remember when I was 15 years old I came across a video of a man exploding in Ukraine. I was going to throw up. fuck. 3 years later I still remember it



Yes!! It's my translator who is unbearable

Somehow no, at first 1 image was too gross to stare at, then it became not that gross... also, the explosion I mentioned was bullet based, not tnt or similar

 

[thaelyana]

Somehow no, at first 1 image was too gross to stare at, then it became not that gross... also, the explosion I mentioned was bullet based, not tnt or similar

Oh yes by bullet it's less violent!!! LOL

 

[TransTaxEvader]

I have as well and it fully turned me off from full suspension hanging.

 

[FoxSauce]

Ive seen a while like back in 9th grade- from a politician.

He cbt infront of an news broadcast. Really gory and scary left me with a few nightmares and I couldn't unsee it for months. Then was a few months ago from uh group of extremist (i dont wanna say the word) was really gory and Ive felt horrified.

Later a few months ago saw people jumping or forearms. Which was really shocking.

Sometimes I still watch some but Im not bother by it anymore but if it does I brought it upon myself.

 

[divinemistress36]

Ya me to they freak me out except for the jumping ones those look so quick and painless