its just fear after all🙄

[starboy2k]

Before I say this, I'm gonna hold your hand —with a wet wipe in between, because I don't trust where your logic's been.

Using my fear of dying as some "gotcha" against my suicidal thoughts isn't the argument you think it is. It's not clever, it's not profound, and it sure as hell doesn't fucking help anything.

Just because I'm scared to kill myself doesn't mean I don't want to. It means I'm terrified of failing and becoming the human embodiment of a cucumber, or scared of whatever the hell comes after this miserable excuse for a life. This world is all I've ever known, so yeah, when I think about ending it, my ass clenches a little bit. But that's just fear. It doesn't mean I want to live or see some bullshit "beauty" in this life. I don't.

This world's "beauty" is like putting lipstick on a fucking pig. You can dress it up however you want, it's still a pig, and it's still covered in shit.

So to any "pro-life" cum stain out there trying to use my fear against me: you're not helping. You're not that enlightened. And you didn't just drop some deep truth. You're wrong. You're REALLY wrong. And no, you did not eat that.

 

[itsgone2]

Just because I'm scared to kill myself doesn't mean I don't want to

I know this isn't the full point of your thread, but this is really it, isn't it? Fear. SI exists and is a hurdle, but fear is the true hurdle. I haven't thought much about what comes next, but fear is the issue. I hate it.