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fkyou

fkyou

...
Oct 1, 2022
190
Haha.its crazy how people (who claim they love you and care about you) would rather have you experience a bad life than leave.these people don't understand it's not that I don't want to live a good life.its that by ctb I avoid at least a horrible life experience. I was fine for a long time even when I was suffering because I had hope and time too and I was young.but that doesn't last and I'd rather not live in grief replaying all that happened to me in these years.nor live for longer ahead to experience the consequences of all that wasted time.like loneliness.im so messed up in the head I don't think I can partner with someone or care for others (kids) because life took the fkn love out of me.
 
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BringMeToLife

BringMeToLife

I'm stuck in here
Apr 13, 2023
219
People say it's selfish to commit suicide, but it's selfish to stop somebody from ctb just so you don't have to experience grief.
 
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fkyou

fkyou

...
Oct 1, 2022
190
People say it's selfish to commit suicide, but it's selfish to stop somebody from ctb just so you don't have to experience grief.
You know who's living in grief? It's me .for 8 years since this mental illness has started.when they were fine all the time I was lonely and stressed.but now they can claim they are depressed over me not being fine.that does nothing to me accept double my pain.i was alone with my pain all this time.but now you want to claim you worry about me.you step on my wound ?.
 
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joaosembraco12

Member
May 4, 2024
16
Exactly, but the worst part isn't even that, people like family and friends genuinely want your well-being, even if they hurt you at the end of the day. But now consider the rest of society, employers who provide minimal pay, inhumane demands for skills and qualifications for jobs, bullying, people putting you down, ridiculing you, mocking you, a society of appearances and hypocrisy. They put you in this basket and you have to keep quiet! I'm only alive today because I'm NEET, otherwise I would have killed myself, this society is dehumanizing to ugly autistic people with low IQs!
 
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anonymous568

anonymous568

Member
Jun 4, 2025
14
Yeah I think it's either that they possibly can't understand what I'm going through so think it can get better or isn't that bad or with my family they feel so triggered if I mention suicide as it goes against there religion all they've ever known so they think if they force me to suffer they won't feel guilt because of there toxic religion . I'm not religious so I can zoom out and think for myself etc and for me with how my mind is and my health and the cards I've got in life it is just suffering.