Surai
its too much and there's nothing left
- Mar 26, 2024
- 299
Its just too much, it all is. Everytime I wake up, im forced into this state of being. I dont want to belong to this one more time. I dont want to even be here. I want to feel but I dont have much hope. Of all I felt, only lasted for a moment before I woke up. It seems everytime Im not feeding this animal It lays there wanting to die. Where everything loses its meaning. Its lost its meaning. Its lost its comfort. Its lost its joy. Its lost its being. And I dont want to be anymore. I dont want to feel anymore. Its all too much, trying to convince myself, that I have a reason to live, that there is nothing that is needed. That Im being forced to live even by my own body. But I am my own body. And for a moment when I looked into the mirror though that I wasnt even me. That Im just what my body wants to think, wants to do. Id ont have a self the ego is myself. Im not as free as I thought. We arent as free as we thought. We are just the animals that want to eat and sleep So we dont have to think so much. We are being controlled by the bodies we are in. We are in a prison made to look free.
