
ChildrensITV
Arcanist
- Mar 14, 2023
- 469
No choice to be here. If you leave on your own terms, you'll have committed the greatest sin. No guarantee of God's help, but the second u take matters into your own hands, then you're noticed, judged and punished.
It's like being born into a prisoner's camp. You just have to suffer it. All you can do is wake up and hope today isn't as shit as yesterday.
I will probably never LIKE being alive, but with a few TWEAKS, I would be willing to serve the rest of my sentence and not end it myself. But I can't have those tweaks. My life is the worst life of all the people I know IRL. Yet nobody knows how much it takes to keep it together. They have no idea how much it takes to be me. They would call me a coward if I CTB'd, but they have no idea what I have to go through, what I've been through and what my fate looks like if nothing improves.
I'm so fucking tired.
It's like being born into a prisoner's camp. You just have to suffer it. All you can do is wake up and hope today isn't as shit as yesterday.
I will probably never LIKE being alive, but with a few TWEAKS, I would be willing to serve the rest of my sentence and not end it myself. But I can't have those tweaks. My life is the worst life of all the people I know IRL. Yet nobody knows how much it takes to keep it together. They have no idea how much it takes to be me. They would call me a coward if I CTB'd, but they have no idea what I have to go through, what I've been through and what my fate looks like if nothing improves.
I'm so fucking tired.