serah
Student
- May 6, 2020
- 178
its been a while since i have used this site. honestly i feel more lost than ever. the desire to ctb is around it never leaves. its always in the back of my mind. i feel so empty. i still feel so disconnected from everyone. at my core i just feel hatred for myself. hatred for being me. so incompetent at everything. im worth nothing and i honestly wish i could replace my life with someone who wants it more than me. im a prisoner of my mind. i cant escape my thoughts i cant take control of them. i spiral until i cant do anything else. i long to destroy my life until my only choice is to ctb. im just a coward who knows deep down i probably wont. ill back out. guess i hate myself for that too. everyone i love would find a replacement. i still keep wishing one day it will just end but i guess im doomed to live as myself with these thoughts that plague my mind. i wish i wasnt so weak. im nothing at all.
