it feels so weird

[thefarter]

hey
i am awake past midnight for some reason. i have work tomorrow. anyway

this is gonnna sound soooooo dramatic but i have realised that i am no longer clinging to any hope?
in the past, i always felt my heart and mind go 'oh but lowkey what if something great happens and i feel better and it's all worth it? like what if my therapy works and i heal? and i find love? and move to Japan? and etc?????' and i used to feel like maybe suicide wasn't the only way out.

but i don't feel like that anymore. i never think about those things. i don't focus at ALL on anything 'good' that could happen. and it's weird cus i always used to do that? ?????????????? always ..

now i'm just like ough there's no coming back from being doxxed, bullied everyday, uhhh and i can't beat up the guy who SA'd me. so i just kind of go whatever. whatever. i will be dead soon. so none of that really matters

anyway. yeah
nothing really mattertrrrssssssssssssss

 

[Kazu Ha]

Oh man, I feel that... :(

All my hopes and dreams are gone as well. I've given up.
I fought for years to have a better life. I had two very close friends, but they left me in a very hurtful way.

Traveling to Japan was also a dream of mine, but I can't do it alone and I don't have the money for it either.

Everything just feels hopeless now, I'm completely lonely and my mental health issues are catching up with me.

I'm sorry you're at this point. I hope you find peace, we all deserve it. <3

 

[Alive42long]

I feel you…

I had a lot of times during my life when I thought I almost had it. I almost got married, I almost graduated, I almost got a job a dozen of times… it never happened.

I am now afraid of hope. I have a boyfriend now and he's the sweetest person in the world, but I cant shake the feeling something will go wrong and I'll be lonelier than ever.

 

[Gangrel]

Took the words out of my mouth, i feel pretty much the same. Used to cling to "but what if x happens". Now i don't give a single shit, it doesn't matter if i die.