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I feel this way too. I'm too tired to have any sort of bucket list. I don't have any energy and nothing appeals to me anymore. The only thing I want to do is kick the bucket.
Yeah it's sad because on one hand you feel like "I can do anything!! I could go anywhere!!" .. total freedom ... but ... there's just no point once you are in this mental state
It sucks, because I would like to do things. I'm always bored, but I just can't be bothered anymore. Meanwhile, there are people who choose to do nothing and are content with it.
Same, except I'm waiting for a certain date, and even then it's not a "set date", just after something I've been waiting for.
I hate when people make statements about how being unhappy is basically a conscious decision that we have control over.
Sometimes it is though. I get mad at people who are deliberately choosing to stay unhappy or depressed or whatever.
If someone was making that choice, I don't see how they could be truly unhappy.
Telling a depressed individual to just be happy is like telling a physically handicapped person to just walk. Doesn't work like that.. unfortunately.
This is why I always say. I'd rather have situational depression then just plain old depression. If it's situational, you have a reason to keep fighting. General depression is a cunt of the highest degree. I'll be happy one moment and then all of a sudden it's just this wave of nothing. Every time I smile my mind screams at me that I'm not allowed to feel that way. It's crushing. To make it clear, I do have a direct reason to commit suicide but it cannot be fixed. It's apart of who I am. I am not speaking about issues like that or physical pain, I'm talking about things like GENUINE temporary issues
Yea if my issues weren't permanent, or there was a way to resolve them that didn't cost exuberant amounts of money, time, and high risk of making things worse, etc etc etc. Then that would be another thing entirely.
My reasoning for committing suicide comes from the core of who I am as a human being. It's a.... (personality)????? Trait that I can't get rid of no matter how hard I try. My being (self diagnosed) autistic as well doesn't help at all. I hurt everybodys feelings and I get complained about a lot because of it. I guess to answer your question, no, I don't view them as two different entities although I sure af wish I did. It might be easier to get rid of one of them lol.
These are the only things that keep me occupied. I wish I could do something different like travel or go to an amusement park, but my social anxiety makes it impossible to leave the house and I wouldn't have a good time anyways.
