Venting Is there a reason why people don’t take my mental health seriously, yet they seem to take other people’s seriously?!

[BlueButterfly111]

Sometimes it feels like I'm just spiritually cursed, or maybe because other people just don't like me? It's weird. Like when I first told my mom that I was depressed in high school it was like she took personal offense to it like I literally stabbed her or something? She literally stopped talking to me for a week, and tbh never really acted the same towards me after that, and this was years ago. Also the last time I brought up depression, which is rare, she got really angry, so I just stopped talking about my feelings to her altogether.

Also it seems like whenever I vent on my personal social media platforms or to people that I know irl, which was rare, people just ignored me or gave me like blank stares.

I also remember explaining to my mom about how I found out that my boyfriend who passed away, used to be suicidal because I found his old social media accounts where he used to write about it. She said that it was probably because of his mental health issues, which I agreed with her about. But then when I told her that I have felt the same way in the past, she gave me a confused look and said, "why?" So I'm not aloud to feel depressed apparently but other people are?!

This also has happened with other people who I thought cared about me. One person who I thought was my friend started treating me weird after I vented one time on social media. She also kept on asking me a bunch of "why" questions like she was trying to get some kind of different answer out of me other than that I was just depressed. Another person who I've known for a really long time, and who has known the full extent of what I've gone through in my life proceeded to block me not too long ago. All I did was vent one time about feeling sad because my boyfriend passed away…

I don't know, I just feel really alone in life. That's why I miss my boyfriend who passed away so much because I feel like he was the only person who genuinely cared about me and my feelings. I remember seeing posts on social media after he passed away about how his family misses him so much. I can't help but feel like that will never happen when I pass away. I guess I'm just unlikeable.

I just feel really sad, I really need someone but I have nowhere else to turn to. I'm currently waiting to see if I can get insurance this month so I can try going to therapy and getting some help. Honestly, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if the therapist laughed in my face and didn't take me seriously. I'm trying to be positive about the new year, but if it doesn't get better by November I will probably give up because I don't know what else to do. It's really hard, I just want a job and a stable life.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It's really sad to say but, sometimes I think people simply get bored of it. If the intensity to it remains high too: 'I feel worse than I ever have' over a prolongued period- it's like that children's story: 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'. People simply start to ignore it.

I suppose it's compassion fatigue sometimes too. If we are lucky enough to have empathetic people around us- it's going to be upsetting for them to acknowledge we are unhappy so much. I have a reasonable amount of empathy and truthfully- I struggled to cope with a friend who was always venting for a while. Because it felt too much to worry about- both their problems and mine. For people who are able to take on another's emotions- it can become too much- if we're struggling too. So- we may just avoid those who we feel like we can't support.

Some people with probably quite serious conditions do sometimes still have friends but, I wonder if it's because they are better at masking or, they are very up and down. I know people who are very entertaining to be around during the periods they are more 'up' and they sometimes seem to hide themselves away for the periods they're not. Sadly, I suppose relationships are often reciprocal- people often want something back.

I think sometimes the more depressed of us attract similarly unhappy people and we can be there for one another to vent to. But, we probably have to be interested and invested enough in each other's lives to do that.

It doesn't surprise me your Mum was seemingly unbothered. I think parents can sometimes take it personally when their children claim to have something psychologically wrong with them, because- what does it reflect about our upbringing and their parenting?

I don't know whether your Mum has struggled in life but I think that can be another aspect. That if they struggled with no diagnosis, no lenience and no sympathy, they maybe don't see why we are so uniquely troubled and deserving of it. A friend's parent responded to them- 'Yeah well- everyone's depressed. You, me, the cat.' I think there's almost an envy there that, why should we be wrapped up in cotton wool- when they weren't.

I've noticed that too though. Parents being more interested in a friend's problem. I think for one- it's different. A change from hearing our problems. Plus, they can freely throw around blane without any of it landing on them.

 

[livefastdieyoung]

im sorry youre surrounded by shitty friends and family, there are genuine people out there who will actually care about you. you just need to find them. i suggest going to therapy and being honest, working on making boundaries and recognising who isnt a good friend, then you can learn to find the people who will be there for you. this forum is also a great place to find people who understand, stay here as long as you need. youre not the problem, the world is just unfortunately filled with a lot of assholes. im sorry my love :(

 

[BlueButterfly111]

im sorry youre surrounded by shitty friends and family, there are genuine people out there who will actually care about you. you just need to find them. i suggest going to therapy and being honest, working on making boundaries and recognising who isnt a good friend, then you can learn to find the people who will be there for you. this forum is also a great place to find people who understand, stay here as long as you need. youre not the problem, the world is just unfortunately filled with a lot of assholes. im sorry my love :(

Thank you again! I do want to say I feel like my boyfriend was the only person in my life who was one of those genuine people out there who would care about me. That's why I just want to die without him, but I always think of him and it's one of the only things that drives me at the moment.

The only reason I want to try is for me and him, but I think he would understand either way if I decide to live or die, but it's just not my time to go yet I think. I will try but it's hard to do it when it's like I always get burned, but I think you're right that I've always been surrounded by shitty people. I just hope I can at least get some help for myself so that maybe I can experience some good things in life whether I am gonna die or not before I do!

I'm literally crying as I'm writing this, thank you for being so kind! And thanks for the advice it is really helpful!

 

[livefastdieyoung]

Thank you again! I do want to say I feel like my boyfriend was the only person in my life who was one of those genuine people out there who would care about me. That's why I just want to die without him, but I always think of him and it's one of the only things that drives me at the moment.

The only reason I want to try is for me and him, but I think he would understand either way if I decide to live or die, but it's just not my time to go yet I think. I will try but it's hard to do it when it's like I always get burned, but I think you're right that I've always been surrounded by shitty people. I just hope I can at least get some help for myself so that maybe I can experience some good things in life whether I am gonna die or not before I do!

I'm literally crying as I'm writing this, thank you for being so kind! And thanks for the advice it is really helpful!

oh my love, im so sorry for making you cry!! im here for you i promise, and everyone on sasu as well. people like us do exist in the real world, we just need to find each other.

i completely understand feeling like your only person in the world is gone, and its so scary and alone. but im not religious at all and however i do believe the people we love stay with us in some way even after theyre gone. the memory of your boyfriend is comforting you and will always be there with you while youre still here with us! and when you leave this world, whether its now or when youre 80, you will join him, your atoms will reunite into the universe, so dont worry hes always with you, and you are never truly alone.

please be more gentle on yourself, you have a kind heart with lots of love to give i can clearly see that. it hurts not being able to give that love to him anymore, but take it and give it to yourself, like he would to you. do the things you love, be completely and authentically yourself, imagine he is there with you every step of the way, and if you decide its not worth sticking around, imagine he is holding your hands as you join him. i promise hes never left you. <3

also if its possible i would suggest getting a pet, perhaps a dog or cat? sometimes we need love, but the people around us arent willing to provide any. animals are always happy to love those that love them. i think it would help you to feel less alone, and give you some comfort when you are hurting.

i truly wish you the best :) i can feel there is many good things over your horizon, waiting for you.

 

[venerated-vader]

People don't know how to deal with that kinda thing. Your mom being interested in someone else's depression and not yours sounds a lot like she's fine with gawking at other people's pain, but the second it becomes yours, she's spiraling in utter confusion. "How can you be depressed? Why are you upset? Is it something I did? No, I'm a good mother so that's not possible. It sounds like you're just ungrateful. How dare you say you're depressed, look at all the good things I've given you! It could be so much worse..." etc.

 

[sanctionedusage]

people are just fucking nuts

 

[bluemoirai]

I think people want to look caring and moral. It's easiest to care about (or pretend to care about) people you don't actually owe anything to.

 

[fallen.dove]

Sometimes it feels like I'm just spiritually cursed, or maybe because other people just don't like me? It's weird. Like when I first told my mom that I was depressed in high school it was like she took personal offense to it like I literally stabbed her or something? She literally stopped talking to me for a week, and tbh never really acted the same towards me after that, and this was years ago. Also the last time I brought up depression, which is rare, she got really angry, so I just stopped talking about my feelings to her altogether.

Also it seems like whenever I vent on my personal social media platforms or to people that I know irl, which was rare, people just ignored me or gave me like blank stares.

I also remember explaining to my mom about how I found out that my boyfriend who passed away, used to be suicidal because I found his old social media accounts where he used to write about it. She said that it was probably because of his mental health issues, which I agreed with her about. But then when I told her that I have felt the same way in the past, she gave me a confused look and said, "why?" So I'm not aloud to feel depressed apparently but other people are?!

This also has happened with other people who I thought cared about me. One person who I thought was my friend started treating me weird after I vented one time on social media. She also kept on asking me a bunch of "why" questions like she was trying to get some kind of different answer out of me other than that I was just depressed. Another person who I've known for a really long time, and who has known the full extent of what I've gone through in my life proceeded to block me not too long ago. All I did was vent one time about feeling sad because my boyfriend passed away…

I don't know, I just feel really alone in life. That's why I miss my boyfriend who passed away so much because I feel like he was the only person who genuinely cared about me and my feelings. I remember seeing posts on social media after he passed away about how his family misses him so much. I can't help but feel like that will never happen when I pass away. I guess I'm just unlikeable.

I just feel really sad, I really need someone but I have nowhere else to turn to. I'm currently waiting to see if I can get insurance this month so I can try going to therapy and getting some help. Honestly, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if the therapist laughed in my face and didn't take me seriously. I'm trying to be positive about the new year, but if it doesn't get better by November I will probably give up because I don't know what else to do. It's really hard, I just want a job and a stable life.

my mom dont believe in my mental ilnesses/disorders aswell. if u want to talk about this, feel free to dm me