Discussion Is anyone else not interested in being happy?

[Pessimist]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

 

[lostintheloop]

I don't want happy but wouldn't say I want to focus on negative (eventhough I do focus on those). Just indifferent I guess . I don't care about feeling happy, sad, whatever. I only want death. I don't want to feel different, i want to be dead forever. So feeling won't matter then

 

[divinemistress36]

Its to much effort to be happy

 

[Hunterer]

I can be happy sometimes. I can smile and I can enjoy certain things in life, but most of the time I feel bad, I feel sad and I think that I don't deserve to achieve true happiness. Whenever things are going too well in my life, I think that something is wrong and I think that at any moment, this happiness will turn into sadness or something worse. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but I am very attached to pessimism instead of optimism, and this has been intensifying more and more.

Sometimes I wish I could be like some people I see around me. I see them happy, smiling, and not even caring about the world's problems. But instead, I only see the reality of the world, and the reality is cruel, painful, and full of hypocrisy.

I would love to disappear soon

 

[drag201]

Yeah. I actually had a conversation about this a few days ago. It made me realise that I barely mind being constantly empty or indifferent at all, and I don't want to put any effort in being happy or at least positive, nothing about it is appealing to me. Basically what you said

 

[F@#$]

Happiness is like love,a lie. It's a bunch of shit you tell yourself while ignoring reality. At least for me anyway.

 

[twin size mattress]

I'm not particularly interested at the moment as it's gonna take a lot, but also i go through phases and am depressed as hell right now. Although i wouldnt call that being interested as i feel like when ive been happy it happens more on its own and not so much out of my own 'interest' if that makes sense. i definitely wish i was tho, i feel like life would be easier if i experienced happiness and wasnt on the fence about wanting it.

 

[dying flower]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

I just want to get out of here

 

[tezw]

Probably too fleeting an emotion to be pursued op, and that is by neurotypical types, far too fleeting an emotion

 

[sugarb]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

On the rare occasions I feel happy it's a pretty 2D thing. My hope is that the next existence has more legitimate feelings

 

[c0vered1nmagg0ts]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

being sad feels more like myself, when i'm happy i feel like im pretending to be a different person

 

[L0neW0lf]

Henry David Thoreau — 'Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.'
Give me peace.

 

[sugarb]

being sad feels more like myself, when i'm happy i feel like im pretending to be a different person

It feels more real than any other time except during extreme disassociation
especially when I fully break down sobbing and etc. Doesn't happen often but I appreciate when it does

 

[mrtime87]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

What?

 

[c0vered1nmagg0ts]

It feels more real than any other time except during extreme disassociation
especially when I fully break down sobbing and etc. Doesn't happen often but I appreciate when it does

a good cry always makes me feel like myself again honestly

 

[CHOSEVIOLENCE]

I just don't want to get better, as bad as that may sound.

 

[Nephy]

Whenever I smile or laugh I feel like I'm faking it cause I can't feel joy anymore. So I prefer to stay authentically and this isn't happy

 

[kunikuzushi]

Yes. I don't see the benefit in being happy in general because that opens the door to losing things and grieving. But I do have fun once a week or so, and I feel happy for a few minutes eating delicious food. But in general I view my life very negatively and don't want to do anything to have a happy life

 

[Gangrel]

it's not that i don't wanna be happy, i do, but it's so much effort that quickly goes away most of the time, it's exhausting

 

[Enga]

Is there even a person who is happy? The only possible way to achieve happiness is to completely stop the suffering and there's only one way to do that.

 

[astr4]

yeah i concur with a lot of the comments here. maybe it's pretty cynical, but when i think back on moments i was "happy" there was always this tinge of emptiness inside of me. it never felt real, like a shallow caricature of what happy should feel like. asking myself "i'm surrounded by people that supposedly love me, why am i so miserable"

and at the end of the day it's cause those other people don't actually love you, they love the way you make them feel. and the second you stop being nice and bubbly and cute and lovely and show your darker side it's done for!!! you can't tell anyone how insecure you are in the relationship or friendship because they get angry and say it's not their job to prove they care, lol!!!

at least drug happiness is real, sadge.

 

[sugarb]

yeah i concur with a lot of the comments here. maybe it's pretty cynical, but when i think back on moments i was "happy" there was always this tinge of emptiness inside of me. it never felt real, like a shallow caricature of what happy should feel like. asking myself "i'm surrounded by people that supposedly love me, why am i so miserable"

and at the end of the day it's cause those other people don't actually love you, they love the way you make them feel. and the second you stop being nice and bubbly and cute and lovely and show your darker side it's done for!!! you can't tell anyone how insecure you are in the relationship or friendship because they get angry and say it's not their job to prove they care, lol!!!

at least drug happiness is real, sadge.

I think how our logic diverges at the second paragraph here is interesting
I've been privileged enough to have a good family and a partner that's fine with me being insecure. When I met her, I was anxious and needy, but she was really accepting and loved me more or less unconditionally to the point I stopped worrying.

But when my fear of not being lovable and deserving my loneliness disappeared, I stopped wanting love entirely. I accept, appreciate, and reciprocate as best I can, but I don't chase- without fear, it's a skin-deep sensation just like happiness. The same's happened with all sorts of things- friendship, marriage, intimacy, sex, physical strength, academic success, wealth, etc. Once they became tangible, I realized I didn't want them. I now want very little other than a peaceful and quick path to CTB.

To be clear I'm not trying to say you're wrong or invalidate your experience, I just have a different one and wanted to share.

That said- do you think your stance would change if you received unconditional love?

oh also your pfp's cool, I like the nails

 

[astr4]

I think how our logic diverges at the second paragraph here is interesting
I've been privileged enough to have a good family and a partner that's fine with me being insecure. When I met her, I was anxious and needy, but she was really accepting and loved me more or less unconditionally to the point I stopped worrying.

But when my fear of not being lovable and deserving my loneliness disappeared, I stopped wanting love entirely. I accept, appreciate, and reciprocate as best I can, but I don't chase- without fear, it's a skin-deep sensation just like happiness. The same's happened with all sorts of things- friendship, marriage, intimacy, sex, physical strength, academic success, wealth, etc. Once they became tangible, I realized I didn't want them. I now want very little other than a peaceful and quick path to CTB.

To be clear I'm not trying to say you're wrong or invalidate your experience, I just have a different one and wanted to share.

That said- do you think your stance would change if you received unconditional love?

oh also your pfp's cool, I like the nails

that's interesting, i think it would? but i also think i would feel skeptical of it no matter what. and part of me does think "oh i just don't deserve love" so i would feel bad if someone did love me unconditionally… all my own issues i suppose

i'm not feeling as cynical as i normally do today, so i wanna tentatively say i would be willing to stay alive for love. but this may change by the next hour

and thank u!! nails give me serotonin i love when they do the clicky clacky thing on the phone screen hehe

 

[ForgottenAgain]

I wonder, why don't you find happiness appealing? What does being more negative give you that happiness doesn't?

I've personally been chasing happiness all my life, I've worked so damn hard for it and achieved certain things that are known to provide happiness but didn't. Not for very long anyway.

Then had the medical professionals tell me that I shouldn't pursue happiness because that's fleeting, that people are usually content and not happy. Sounds a bit like a play of words to me but whatever - then I started telling them I want to be content then, I want to feel like life is worth living.

I think the problem is that it's been so long since I've been content that I don't think I know what that feels like exactly. I keep pursuing it because I have memories of it feeling great and I want that back. Could my memories be deceiving? Maybe I've been so unhappy that I escalated the greatness of those memories, I'm not sure.

Pessimism and sadness destroy me, that's not the world I want to live in. If I'm alive, I want to feel good, I want to have a regular good life. Why is that so much to ask...

 

[dying flower]

it's not that i don't wanna be happy, i do, but it's so much effort that quickly goes away most of the time, it's exhausting

I have always thought life is like a black comedy with a few laughs thrown in along the way

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

I'd prefer to be happy rather being unhappy/negative/depressed. We need less muscles in our faces to smile than to make a sad face.

A friend always tells me not to see the negative things but the positive ones - but still - what if the negative things (experiences) outweigh the positive ones? I Mean 99+% or even more negative experience that can't be equaled by one or 2 positive things ...

I'd always prefer to be happy but unfortunately, I'm rarely happy bc how my life is. What all I cannot do makes me unhappy - I can't lie to myself and pretend that life is great just bc I have food ... life in nowadays society is more than just eating & sleeping.

I still prefer to be happy but I can't.

 

[HarryCobean]

I'm interested in living in a world to which happiness would be an appropriate response. But I do not live in such a world.

 

[Cress]

I tried psilocybin for the first time This week A few times in a microdose. I didn't take it in any amounts to have hallucinations or anything like that but I randomly felt happy for a few hours For no reason. I'm guessing that's what it must be like to be a normal person you're just happy for no reason. Must be nice.

 

[sugarb]

that's interesting, i think it would? but i also think i would feel skeptical of it no matter what. and part of me does think "oh i just don't deserve love" so i would feel bad if someone did love me unconditionally… all my own issues i suppose

i'm not feeling as cynical as i normally do today, so i wanna tentatively say i would be willing to stay alive for love. but this may change by the next hour

and thank u!! nails give me serotonin i love when they do the clicky clacky thing on the phone screen hehe

Hm interesting. I definitely understand the skepticism, she just wore me down lol. The not feeling like you deserve it part I can't relate to as much.

same dawg I'm mood as hell

You're welcome! speaking of nails I need to clip mine >_>

I tried psilocybin for the first time This week A few times in a microdose. I didn't take it in any amounts to have hallucinations or anything like that but I randomly felt happy for a few hours For no reason. I'm guessing that's what it must be like to be a normal person you're just happy for no reason. Must be nice.

I've been curious about psychedelics. more so the vivid hallucinations part though

Glad your experience was pleasant

 

[sinfonia]

I don't have a problem with having fun sometimes, but I wouldn't want to be a happy person in general. I don't find it appealing, and I prefer to focus on the darker and more negative aspects of life. It seems like everyone else wants to be happy.

Exploring the darker aspects of life can be a way of pursuing happiness, or at least finding some relief in knowing that your suffering exists within a greater context. That's what makes pessimism so appealing to me.