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Topaz111

Topaz111

I can feel this body in revolt
Mar 9, 2026
149
I wanted to fuckin distract myself and calm myself down so I tried to cross stitch again
Fuck the headache I got from leaning over the loom and eye pain too
And a stomach ache from tea for some damn reason????
And tinnitus making listening to music suck
Like, every single fucking thing that helps me cope has been taken away from me by some form of chronic pain
Video games? Cross stitching? Eye pain and headache
Colouring? Hand pain and headache
Eating/drinking anything? Reflux, gastric pain and headache
Sleeping? Reflux, gastric pain, headache and nightmares
Music? Tinnitus
Going out in nature? Every form of chronic pain I chronic pain I experience
How the fuck am I supposed to "cope"?
I tried my motherfucking best, but the illnesses slowly ate away at any joy I had in life until I had nothing left. There is no point now.


Ugh I'm starting to ramble more now, I hate how much of a mess I am becoming
 
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Reactions: rollingthunder, pthnrdnojvsc, myxomatosis and 7 others
T

thelostautistic

Specialist
Jul 31, 2025
362
I'm sorry you're dealing with chronic pain too. It ruins everything😞
 
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unluckysadness

unluckysadness

Enlightened
Jul 9, 2025
1,113
I'm in the same boat. In the end, it's logical to be suicidal. All my miserable life, my family & therapists said to me that it was "just psychological" or "only stress", but it's not that simple !! Nobody can really understand us. I really hope we can find some relief and peace (in this fucking world or in afterlife).
 
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Reactions: Alexandra_, Topaz111 and thelostautistic
Topaz111

Topaz111

I can feel this body in revolt
Mar 9, 2026
149
I'm in the same boat. In the end, it's logical to be suicidal. All my miserable life, my family & therapists said to me that it was "just psychological" or "only stress", but it's not that simple !! Nobody can really understand us. I really hope we can find some relief and peace (in this fucking world or in afterlife).
Thank you for the kind words <3
Healthy people aren't able to understand this sadly, it's one of those things that you have to experience yourself to see what it is like and it is a very isolating experience. I hope you will find relief too, in whatever form will be available for you. I hope there is a happy afterlife for me, though even an eternity of non-existance is better than living in this body. I just have to wait a little bit longer..
 
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Reactions: Alexandra_, thelostautistic and unluckysadness
E

Endisclose

Specialist
Oct 23, 2023
364
I wanted to fuckin distract myself and calm myself down so I tried to cross stitch again
Fuck the headache I got from leaning over the loom and eye pain too
And a stomach ache from tea for some damn reason????
And tinnitus making listening to music suck
Like, every single fucking thing that helps me cope has been taken away from me by some form of chronic pain
Video games? Cross stitching? Eye pain and headache
Colouring? Hand pain and headache
Eating/drinking anything? Reflux, gastric pain and headache
Sleeping? Reflux, gastric pain, headache and nightmares
Music? Tinnitus
Going out in nature? Every form of chronic pain I chronic pain I experience
How the fuck am I supposed to "cope"?
I tried my motherfucking best, but the illnesses slowly ate away at any joy I had in life until I had nothing left. There is no point now.


Ugh I'm starting to ramble more now, I hate how much of a mess I am becoming
Can strongly relate to what you're going through. Have had chronic pain - physical pain every day for the last six years and still going...its just made my life absolutely miserable 😔.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Alexandra_ and Topaz111
E

Endisclose

Specialist
Oct 23, 2023
364
I wanted to fuckin distract myself and calm myself down so I tried to cross stitch again
Fuck the headache I got from leaning over the loom and eye pain too
And a stomach ache from tea for some damn reason????
And tinnitus making listening to music suck
Like, every single fucking thing that helps me cope has been taken away from me by some form of chronic pain
Video games? Cross stitching? Eye pain and headache
Colouring? Hand pain and headache
Eating/drinking anything? Reflux, gastric pain and headache
Sleeping? Reflux, gastric pain, headache and nightmares
Music? Tinnitus
Going out in nature? Every form of chronic pain I chronic pain I experience
How the fuck am I supposed to "cope"?
I tried my motherfucking best, but the illnesses slowly ate away at any joy I had in life until I had nothing left. There is no point now.


Ugh I'm starting to ramble more now, I hate how much of a mess I am becoming
I used to have frequent headaches too. I finally found out that it was from indigestion related to acid reflux from having low stomach acid. I'd recommend trying an alkaline diet and seeing if it works - My current diet consists of steamed white rice, boiled vegetables, morris bananas, egg white protein powder + essential mineral and vitamin supplements.
 
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Topaz111

Topaz111

I can feel this body in revolt
Mar 9, 2026
149
I used to have frequent headaches too. I finally found out that it was from indigestion related to acid reflux from having low stomach acid. I'd recommend trying an alkaline diet and seeing if it works - My current diet consists of steamed white rice, boiled vegetables, morris bananas, egg white protein powder + essential mineral and vitamin supplements.
Most of my headaches are caused by reflux content getting into my sinuses. I take vitamins, I'm already on a very restrictive reflux diet and follow the usual lifestyle adjustments, but it doesn't help. I had a ph test done as a child and it came back normal despite me having reflux symtoms, that along with the fact that PPIs don't help me much points to me having non-acidic reflux. An endoscopy showed I have a weak/dysfunctional lower esophageal sphincter which sadly can only be fixed by surgery and I will most likely CTB before that happens since it would take over a year and I don't think I could handle having a surgery anyway due to my severe medical trauma.
I'm glad you found something that works for you though!
 
E

Endisclose

Specialist
Oct 23, 2023
364
Most of my headaches are caused by reflux content getting into my sinuses. I take vitamins, I'm already on a very restrictive reflux diet and follow the usual lifestyle adjustments, but it doesn't help. I had a ph test done as a child and it came back normal despite me having reflux symtoms, that along with the fact that PPIs don't help me much points to me having non-acidic reflux. An endoscopy showed I have a weak/dysfunctional lower esophageal sphincter which sadly can only be fixed by surgery and I will most likely CTB before that happens since it would take over a year and I don't think I could handle having a surgery anyway due to my severe medical trauma.
I'm glad you found something that works for you though!
I'd recommend taking the baking soda test for low stomach acid, which can be taken at home. One is supposed to get a burp in under 5 mins. I got no burp at all even after 25 mins!

PPIs for acid reflux must be the biggest medical scam/joke ever like..the issue is basically due to poor digestion due to low stomach acid and the solution is to lower acid further? How's that even gonna help? Instead of curing it, it could actually lead to SIBO and H.pylori infections in the long run - it's just insane. The real reason I found out was it was due to pepsin activation, which can be avoided through strict diet control.

I've been suffering from a bad LPR flare up for like just over 2 years now and have been taking a strict elimination diet consisting of the foods I had mentioned earlier. I've been on it for nearly 15 months now and feel close to recovering from my symptoms (fingers crossed).

Honestly the kind of mumbo jumbo I've seen round the internet regarding this condition makes my head spin. There are loads of people selling snake oil, talking about the "vagus nerve" and all kinds of hocus pocus.

I am really skeptical if there would be any need for surgery either. Generally in people with acid reflux issues, the LES relaxes when one takes trigger foods and then closes back after a few hours, so I think the solution is to take those foods during the day and avoid them at night especially late at night. Thing is not to lie down flat after consuming them.

I read that the reason the LES is relaxed is due to the low stomach acid levels and that it could be fixed by increasing stomach acid levels by taking Betaine Hydrochloride. Once the acid levels reach a certain level, the LES supposedly closes up naturally.

Using a wedge pillow at night will help. I have been using one for close to 2 years now. Gives the necessary elevation to keep the acid down.

The main advantage about the diet I mentioned, is that it deactivates pepsin so it stops acid reflux. It still produces non acid reflux though (made up of bile and other digestive enzymes) which isn't nearly as damaging as pepsin induced acid reflux which eats up tissue in the oesophagus and larynx.

So even if the LES is relaxed and if the acid flows back up, it would only be non acid reflux, which doesn't damage the tissue inside. One can differentiate the acid and non acid reflux by the intensity of the burning. The acid reflux feels like a searing burning/throat on fire like feeling at level 10 and the non acid reflux feels more like level 3 in comparison. As the tissue inside heals and one gets close to normal, I don't think you even feel it. It's a fraction of a percentage to what it felt when I first started the diet. The level 3 has become like a level 0.3 now which shows the healing of the tissue inside and should be down to zero hopefully soon.

I'd recommend you try the diet for maybe a few weeks to a month and see if the headaches go away. I bought this book called the complete acid reflux diet plan by Nour Zibdeh that has more foods and recipes that one can take. The Betaine Hydrochloride would be worth a shot as well IMO..
 
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