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lucid

lucid

antinatalist specialist
Jun 29, 2019
177
I can't fucking take this shit anymore. I'm tired of waking up from a dream I had where I was happy and cheery and even together with my ex again, it's hurting me so much. Today was the first day I was able to cry over it. I still feel like crying more now too. I've tried everything in my power to get past it and over the past two plus years nothing has worked.
Why do I have to be such a useless fucking cunt who screws up every chance and opportunity I'm given? Why do we have to be this fucking attracted to another human being to the point you'd die for them literally? Why can't I fucking accept that she told me she doesn't share feelings for me anymore and move on?
Every time this comes up it feels like bits of me inside are slipping away. I don't want this to be one of the main reasons I CTB but it feels like it will.

The plans I had today are out the window. I think it's another day for drinking alone.
 
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