Impulse CTB from Chronic Pain

[indianachrome]

Now I see how people with chronic pain impulse CTB...without leaving a note or anything. It just fucking wears on you until you are overwhelmed and need to exit

 

[socksnsandles]

100%

for many, the writing was already on the wall. they know it wont be a mystery for loved ones.

 

[Xiaojiu]

Yeah, I have chronic pain and it makes me want to CTB all day everyday. I'm making sure SI and guilt lessens for me though before attempting and I am going to leave letters so people won't be wondering the "why".

 

[dontwakemeup]

I call it the hidden illness. Nobody sees the pain your in, they expect the medication will make you better, etc. The truth is knowing every day you wake up you will be in pain, makes waking up not exciting. Hopefully, all this will be over soon.

 

[Arvayn]

I also have a friend with chronic pain and a disability that keeps him homebound, and he once went into very deep detail to describe the sensations and daily experience for me; it is the purest form of human suffering. Worst of all, it cannot be cured, and he has lived with it for so much of his life, yet you never quite "get used" to it. He has wished to die before and even had a few suicide attempts, but nowadays, he keeps living out of sheer spite for the people around him.
If he died, I would not blame him. He has absolutely zero chance of ever fulfilling any of his goals, and he is subject to the whims of his abusive caretakers. That is not living, that's only surviving.

 

[Macedonian1987]

I too suffer from chronic pain and since I'm not an impulse person, i've been planning to ctb years prior. It took me a while to gather all the things for the SN protocol and I'm waiting for the chronic pain to get worse so that i can finally end things.

I'm just sick and tired of being in pain and avoided by all because of my Asperger's.

 

[littleearthquakes]

My worst moments of wanting to CTB besides when I'm having some kind of conflict with somebody is when I'm having my worst pain moments. I usually think about it every day when the pain spikes or just when it wears on me. It's truly horrific. The worse my pain gets, the worse me wanting to do this gets.

And in turn it makes me very isolated from the world and it makes it harder to connect with people and then that just feeds in to how hopeless and helpless and in pain I feel emotionally and physically.