I’m suffering major depression

[SadCryingBunny]

I am suffering a lot of depression and I just want to die. My parents don't care. I have a lot of cuts in my arm and severe hair loss that's the prime cause of my depression. I'm living on Centrelink disability job seeker and unable to work. I'm 27, been like this since my early 20s. I'm wanting to end it by breathing nitrogen through a bag over my head. I've tried breathing nitrogen through a scuba mask and after a minute of breathing my head felt like it was going to explode so I couldn't continue.

 

[FuneralCry]

I just wish to be gone as well, I just want to be free from this torturous existence, it's just so cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

I am suffering a lot of depression and I just want to die. My parents don't care. I have a lot of cuts in my arm and severe hair loss that's the prime cause of my depression. I'm living on Centrelink disability job seeker and unable to work. I'm 27, been like this since my early 20s. I'm wanting to end it by breathing nitrogen through a bag over my head. I've tried breathing nitrogen through a scuba mask and after a minute of breathing my head felt like it was going to explode so I couldn't continue.

I'm so sorry. My parents don't care much about my depression either, they say they care but then do shit that keeps me this way. I've also been unable to work but it's just because the job market in my country is shit, so that's not the same but I hope it makes you feel less alone! Are you able to get professional help? Not saying you have to or that it's guaranteed to work but just wondering, I think you should try that before ending it all. There is so much treatment out there for MDD. That's why I'm trying this year, but it's difficult.

 

[SadCryingBunny]

I'm so sorry. My parents don't care much about my depression either, they say they care but then do shit that keeps me this way. I've also been unable to work but it's just because the job market in my country is shit, so that's not the same but I hope it makes you feel less alone! Are you able to get professional help? Not saying you have to or that it's guaranteed to work but just wondering, I think you should try that before ending it all. There is so much treatment out there for MDD. That's why I'm trying this year, but it's difficult.

Professional help isn't helping nor has the government cared or offered much as it's costing them more money. My self harm cuts cause me severe burning and cutting residual nerve pain, especially the cut right above my forearm tendons. Its permanent. My hair loss is severe. I'm a Norwood 5 at age 27. I suffer major depression my hair loss. My life is over. The nitrogen method isn't pleasant with a bag on my damn head and it isn't this peaceful process when passing out. My whole head feels like it's going to explode. I should be eligible for assisted suicide at this severe case but no, the government keeps me alive. I'll just keep getting $2000 monthly checks from them then until I die, am eligible for assisted suicide in another country or old pension age. I'm in Australia btw.

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

$2000 monthly checks from them then until I die

Sounds comfy. Would make it harder for me to ctb.

 

[SadCryingBunny]

L

Sounds comfy. Would make it harder for me to ctb.

Living with depression despite getting government assistance is worse. I want to die.

 

[INYGTRMTFMO]

L

Living with depression despite getting government assistance is worse. I want to die.

I get it. Knowing that you "should" be happier than you are tends to make you more unhappy.

(I can't relate to your exact situation, but I have several positive things going on in my life that mean I "should" be a happy, or at least not-actively-suicidal, person. Ah, well.)

I'm sorry to hear about your hair loss. That sounds really rough. Hopefully the medical field comes through for you with a breakthrough -- they've made some gains with hair growth. Either way, wishing you more peaceful days ahead.

 

[SadCryingBunny]

L

Sounds comfy. Would make it harder for me to ctb.

I get it. Knowing that you "should" be happier than you are tends to make you more unhappy.

(I can't relate to your exact situation, but I have several positive things going on in my life that mean I "should" be a happy, or at least not-actively-suicidal, person. Ah, well.)

I'm sorry to hear about your hair loss. That sounds really rough. Hopefully the medical field comes through for you with a breakthrough -- they've made some gains with hair growth. Either way, wishing you more peaceful days ahead.

As I said, suicide is the best choice for me and done. If i could gain the courage to jump from a high building, i would. I jumped off my bed 0.5m fall and twisted and landed on my side. I was in so much pain that I couldn't breath. My hip bone kept hurting for 3 years. Pain suddenly subsided.

 

[sohopelessandempty]

Professional help isn't helping nor has the government cared or offered much as it's costing them more money. My self harm cuts cause me severe burning and cutting residual nerve pain, especially the cut right above my forearm tendons. Its permanent. My hair loss is severe. I'm a Norwood 5 at age 27. I suffer major depression my hair loss. My life is over. The nitrogen method isn't pleasant with a bag on my damn head and it isn't this peaceful process when passing out. My whole head feels like it's going to explode. I should be eligible for assisted suicide at this severe case but no, the government keeps me alive. I'll just keep getting $2000 monthly checks from them then until I die, am eligible for assisted suicide in another country or old pension age. I'm in Australia btw.

I'm sorry you're going through all this shit. Life is really cruel and I don't live there or know much about Australia but generally it's true that many governments don't actually care about the people. If it makes you feel any better, I live in America and I am sure you've heard of the shitty things that happen here. When I was younger I'd try and strangle myself with a pair of pants, I also experienced that same feeling like my head was gonna explode. I'm sorry you are suffering and that the nitro method was uncomfortable for you. People act like ctbing is the solution and everyone's different but very often it's not a peaceful process like you said, and it can cause even more suffering. This is a stupid question but about your hair loss, why don't you get a wig? I know it's not real but I think it will help with confidence and wearing a wig is no different than wearing makeup and such. Nothing wrong with that. I also used to experience hair loss(due to vitamin deficiency) so I understand the feeling.

 

[Alpacachino]

I was very impressed with your previous threads on the nitrogen setup. You seem pretty smart. I'm sorry you're struggling so much

 

[SadCryingBunny]

I

I was very impressed with your previous threads on the nitrogen setup. You seem pretty smart. I'm sorry you're struggling so much

I have resorted to using an Exit bag. It's made the experience a lot more comfortable. I'm just concerned about the autopsy and I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for death. I'm going to go die on a very far away remote beach at night.