I'm so tired of going on like this

[Dreamerfor]

Hello everyone, I'm not that new here, but I decided to open a user because of the worsening of my health/mental condition.
English is not my native language, so I use a translator.
In short, I was severely affected by psychiatric pills that left me sick with many unbearable neurological problems.
I never thought it would reach this point that I couldn't continue in this state for too long.
Basically, I read a lot about the methods in the various threads and thought about SN, but I realized that I was a little late in the date when it was possible to order it quite easily.
Apart from the fact that life has become very unbearable these days, especially in Israel.
And Israel is a very primitive country when it comes to mental health and in general human relations.
But that's not the point here.
I am severely affected and every day it gets worse. It's a shame because I could have avoided this situation, but I was a teenager and I was tricked, but that's life.
I have all kinds of pills at hand, including benzos, various beta blockers, sleeping pills, and maybe I can get medium-strength opioids.
Is a combination of any of these? Will it work? I can achieve a lot of everything I mentioned. The question is, will it work? Because it is so hard for me to get to the point of hanging myself or jumping out the window. I am too sensitive and I still can't believe I am in this situation.
It is so hard for me.
Thanks for reading.

 

[madameviolette]

Hi welcome to SaSu.

I'm sorry for what's happened to you. When I read your story I feel like it's mine. I was also harmed by psych drugs and medications started from when I was a teenager. And this is also the reason why I want to CTB. It might not be your case but I realized ever since I was harmed by psych drugs I don't react to any medications anymore. They do nothing. Even SN does absolutely nothing for me.

Does your body still react to alcohol, coffee, or medications ? Are you able to get drunk anymore ? If that's the case you might be able to use SN. As for medication overdose it's unlikely to work, even for someone with low tolerance.

I hope you find a solution

 

[Dreamerfor]

Hi welcome to SaSu.

I'm sorry for what's happened to you. When I read your story I feel like it's mine. I was also harmed by psych drugs and medications started from when I was a teenager. And this is also the reason why I want to CTB. It might not be your case but I realized ever since I was harmed by psych drugs I don't react to any medications anymore. They do nothing. Even SN does absolutely nothing for me.

Does your body still react to alcohol, coffee, or medications ? Are you able to get drunk anymore ? If that's the case you might be able to use SN. As for medication overdose it's unlikely to work, even for someone with low tolerance.

I hope you find a solution

I'm so sorry you're in this situation and you're suffering
Big Pharma kills so many people and there's no recognition of any harm that psychiatry can do to people
I'm in a state of self-destruction I don't care about my health anymore because I've realized that I've been damaged permanently and if not forever then for many more years of suffering it's so unfortunate
I'll try to get SN somehow I'll continue to research this
My tolerance is very low glass of alcohol and even weed affect me quite strongly
I wish you peace wherever you go

 

[RunDown]

I've been damaged by meds as well. Sry you're going through this. Unfortunately, overdosing on prescription meds, even benzo and opioids, is not very dependable. You may damage yourself further in a failed attempt.

 

[Unlucky777]

I'm so sorry to hear that psych meds did this to you as well. The same thing happened to me also. 10+ years of antipsychotics (which I did not need to be on but my covert narcissist ex convinced everyone I was bipolar/psychotic) really did a number on me and ruined my life and now I'm looking for an exit.

Whatever happens, I hope you find peace and that you are able to heal one way or another.

Hi welcome to SaSu.

I'm sorry for what's happened to you. When I read your story I feel like it's mine. I was also harmed by psych drugs and medications started from when I was a teenager. And this is also the reason why I want to CTB. It might not be your case but I realized ever since I was harmed by psych drugs I don't react to any medications anymore. They do nothing. Even SN does absolutely nothing for me.

Does your body still react to alcohol, coffee, or medications ? Are you able to get drunk anymore ? If that's the case you might be able to use SN. As for medication overdose it's unlikely to work, even for someone with low tolerance.

I hope you find a solution

Yeah my reaction to psychedelics no longer happens since my life was ruined by the poisonous antipsychotics my evil narcissistic ex convinced me I needed to take. I'm in ketamine therapy now and I feel like it doesn't work on me also because of the damage done by those meds. I'm so angry and bitter about it.

Anyway, I have stopped taking all those meds and I'm doing a little better now. Last time I took them was July 18th 2024 and little by little I'm recovering but it's a slow process. I wish you well and hope you find your way back to your self

 

[madameviolette]

I'm so sorry to hear that psych meds did this to you as well. The same thing happened to me also. 10+ years of antipsychotics (which I did not need to be on but my covert narcissist ex convinced everyone I was bipolar/psychotic) really did a number on me and ruined my life and now I'm looking for an exit.

Whatever happens, I hope you find peace and that you are able to heal one way or another.

Yeah my reaction to psychedelics no longer happens since my life was ruined by the poisonous antipsychotics my evil narcissistic ex convinced me I needed to take. I'm in ketamine therapy now and I feel like it doesn't work on me also because of the damage done by those meds. I'm so angry and bitter about it.

Anyway, I have stopped taking all those meds and I'm doing a little better now. Last time I took them was July 18th 2024 and little by little I'm recovering but it's a slow process. I wish you well and hope you find your way back to your self

I'm so sorry. Lots of people are gaslighted into going in psych wards and get absolutely destroyed there... That is horrible.

I'm glad you recovered at least. There are people out there who recover but I think the damage it does to someone leaves stains no matter what. Even worse when you were coerced by loved ones... May I ask why are you looking for an exit given you are recovering well ?

 

[Unlucky777]

I'm so sorry. Lots of people are gaslighted into going in psych wards and get absolutely destroyed there... That is horrible.

I'm glad you recovered at least. There are people out there who recover but I think the damage it does to someone leaves stains no matter what. Even worst when you were coerced by loved ones... May I ask why are you looking for an exit given you are recovering well ?

Yeah it's a long story but it started in 2010 when I met my former partner of 13 years. I did not know he was a narcissist (a covert one at that). All the classic narcissist signs were there but I didn't know very well what a narcissist was at the time. He "diagnosed" me as bipolar and it was all part of his manipulative behavior. Isolated me from my family and friends and pretty much controlled me after years of grooming and emotional abuse. I took those meds to make him happy but in the process I destroyed myself. I think I'm fairly smart, I used to be confident, and had a decent level of self esteem. Everything was wiped out by the narc ex. He ruined all my relationships with my family and friends, my career was destroyed by the negative cognitive effects of the meds.

Anyway sorry for getting off topic but to answer your question I guess I'm on the fence about it I guess. Some days I find myself feeling well and other days I am very angry and want to end it all. I'm going through a dark night of the soul that was triggered by all of the above I mentioned. Even though I'm beginning to recover and heal, the healing process is very messy and it does make me want to CTB on some days. Overall I think I'm beginning to find my purpose again and meaning in life. I'm going back to school to study audio engineering and music production. I want to discuss mental health, suicide prevention, suicide awareness, expose the field of psychiatric field for destroying so many people's lives.

I want to speak on these topics in my music. So I'm a bit conflicted, some days I want to continue and other days I want a way out. I hope I can connect with other people and maybe help them out because I think the worst of it is over and I'm still here

 

[madameviolette]

Yeah it's a long story but it started in 2010 when I met my former partner of 13 years. I did not know he was a narcissist (a covert one at that). All the classic narcissist signs were there but I didn't know very well what a narcissist was at the time. He "diagnosed" me as bipolar and it was all part of his manipulative behavior. Isolated me from my family and friends and pretty much controlled me after years of grooming and emotional abuse. I took those meds to make him happy but in the process I destroyed myself. I think I'm fairly smart, I used to be confident, and had a decent level of self esteem. Everything was wiped out by the narc ex. He ruined all my relationships with my family and friends, my career was destroyed by the negative cognitive effects of the meds.

Anyway sorry for getting off topic but to answer your question I guess I'm on the fence about it I guess. Some days I find myself feeling well and other days I am very angry and want to end it all. I'm going through a dark night of the soul that was triggered by all of the above I mentioned. Even though I'm beginning to recover and heal, the healing process is very messy and it does make me want to CTB on some days. Overall I think I'm beginning to find my purpose again and meaning in life. I'm going back to school to study audio engineering and music production. I want to discuss mental health, suicide prevention, suicide awareness, expose the field of psychiatric field for destroying so many people's lives.

I want to speak on these topics in my music. So I'm a bit conflicted, some days I want to continue and other days I want a way out. I hope I can connect with other people and maybe help them out because I think the worst of it is over and I'm still here

Wow that must have been very difficult. You are strong glad there is at least one to survive psychiatry here

Yes please, talk about these kinds of abuse in your art if you can. It must be known.

 

[Unlucky777]

Wow that must have been very difficult. You are strong glad there is at least one to survive psychiatry here

Yes please, talk about these kinds of abuse in your art if you can. It must be known.

There are many that have survived psychiatric abuse and are alive and kicking, they are all over YouTube. This can be overcome and it is very possible to be normal again. It's not easy but you know what? Physically, mentally, and emotionally I'm stronger than I've ever been in my whole life. Yeah life does suck at times but it has shown me how resilient we can be. The combination of narcissistic abuse and psych meds abuse is a brutal combo but with the right mindset anything is possible.

And yeah I absolutely will talk about all these topics in my music. I have a few more hurdles I have to cross but I'm well on my way there pursing my dreams. It's what keeps me going now I think is that glimmer of hope of bringing awareness on these topics and shining a light on them.