Venting I'm so scared of accepting this life

[whybother2002]

I'm so scared of getting a little bit better (I'm under so many meds) and then accepting this life as a new normal. I have no friends, no hobbies, I'm slowly rotting away in sadness, shame and guilty. I can't live this life and yet they might beat me on the fact that I don't have any methods to die. I'm considering hanging with shoelaces. Fuck. I need to die, I can't go on. I can't let life win. I'm going crazy.

 

[rs929]

Same here. I've arrived to the conclusion that there is a chance that I might never be able to go through CTB. Which is desperating. But I guess that the logical conclusion is that you must try to reduce suffering in your life as much as possible as you can, just in case.