I’m so lost…

[Roseate]

I keep faking it. I keep trying. I am even being positive and nothing is working. It's just getting worse. I get hopeful then I'm let down. I have no one to talk to about it. I am so alone and for the first time ever I don't want to be alone. I am tired of being alone, of starting over, I'm so tired of breathing why won't it stop? Why won't it fucking stop???!! I am tired of crying every goddamn fucking day. I am just confused. I am questioning everything. I am losing my fucking mind. I am just dying but I'm still here. Idk why. Idk why I keep going through these pains. Idk why the pain wont stop. Why can't I be happy like those some of those people who can just float with happiness? Why can't I have something.. something or someone that stays?! I just want to smile, I just want to be happy… and if I can't have that, why can't I just fucking die? Why do I have to go through all this planning just for fucking peace that I can't fucking feel on this fucking earth anyways? There's just no fucking light at the end of this. I just want to die already.

 

[Tenshi_vhc]

I use to feel this way to intill I found a small support system. even if it's just one person it makes a huge difference. I'm always here if you need a friend or just someone to vent to. :)

 

[mtoro998]

I get you it feels like im reading my own thoughts right now.

 

[onion Fox]

I feel exactly the same.

 

[RationalGaze]

Me too. I don't know if I'll ever get through this. I don't wanna.

 

[druggedonsurvival]

I don't try to have hope or "be positive" anymore, it just leads to eventual disappointment. And yeah, I don't understand those people who seem truly happy with their lives. I guess they just got lucky...

 

[Throwawayacc3]

Listen to the lyrics. Pretty resonating with everyone here.

Chester took his own life back in 2017. Seemed to "have it all".

 

[Roseate]

I don't try to have hope or "be positive" anymore, it just leads to eventual disappointment. And yeah, I don't understand those people who seem truly happy with their lives. I guess they just got lucky...

They really are lucky because gosh if death something that's part of life is all I had to experience or my parents divorcing it wouldn't be so bad. I could get over that. I could learn to move on from that.

Listen to the lyrics. Pretty resonating with everyone here.

Chester took his own life back in 2017. Seemed to "have it all".

I mean did he really? Most depressed people could relate to their songs it was kinda obvious he was going through some things.

Me too. I don't know if I'll ever get through this. I don't wanna.

Exactly, being positive isn't enough. I need solutions, not hallmark quotes. I need my brain fixed. I need it to work like all those people who are mentally stable, who get to just live. Life shouldn't be this hard.