I'm so fucking scared to do it.

[100percentbeer]

I was just nearly homeless and had to move home. I have none of my friends after a schizophrenia diagnosis in my midtwenties. I'm approaching 30 and feeling alone. My brain is constantly screaming at me to kill myself despite being very medicated.

I'm depressed. I'm so depressed. I feel like the only way people will care about me is if I die. And then I won't even be here to see it.

I don't know what to do. I'm heartbroken. But I'm so scared to go through with it... It still feels like murder, and I don't know what's on the other side.

All I know is therapy and all that crap has done nothing for me. I'm sad and alone and basically mentally disabled by the schizophrenia thing.

I want to try tonight but I don't know how to overcome my fear.

 

[itsgone2]

I want to try tonight but I don't know how to overcome my fear.

I'm in the exact same situation. I wish life was different for us.

 

[honorando]

maybe its not time to go yet, its okey to be scared

 

[jatty]

same. I feel so horrible because I probably wont die. My anxiety is just so bad all the time. And now i feel like im suffering forever like im in hell. Stupid fucking si.