Venting Im so ashamed of myself

[Masaxcre_032]

I feel so embarrassed and ashamed to even be alive or talk to friends. Every time words come out of my mouth they feel wrong and stupid I immediately want to cry and god it's just so stupid. I made an embarrassing comment today and I just got so angry with myself for even saying that for even embarrassing myself like that. I cried for hours just thinking about how shitty my life feels right now knowing nobody even knows. Nobody will push to try to talk to me I hate everything I do or say my life feels so useless, I feel so useless. I have no talents, I have no aspirations, I have nothing to hope for let alone live for. So what is the point of my life do I just walk around hoping for one scrap of a moment that feels worth it for everything I endure everyday. Is it worth it? Is anything worth it? Im always going to be annoying, going to be a bother. Always that one person who's just unlikable because i'm a fraud I don't belong anywhere and I never will. And god my punctuation is horrible I guess that's just another thing I'm also horrible at! who could've guessed.

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

So relatable. I'm feeling the same whenever I talk with someone. It feels like I say what I should not do every time. I'm especially terrible at oral communication. I hate my autism.

 

[nails]

i understand a lot of what you're feeling and i'm sorry you have to feel this way. i know it's hard to see things differently, but you're not doing anything wrong and you don't deserve to feel ashamed or unseen. i hope you find some peace soon.