spookyjar
New Member
- Aug 18, 2025
- 2
CTB has been running through my mind for years and years, sometimes I feel excited at the thought of not having to deal with my thoughts and feelings anymore. I'm losing faith that I'll be able to live a life where I feel like I actually belong, I feel isolated even with the few people I talk to. Making friends isn't something I'm good at. I moved around a lot during my childhood and teen years, experiencing homeless shelters, living on the streets, etc etc. It often feels like my mindset never left that part of my life. With how homeless people are treated, it really shaped how I see the world, and how little people can care. I kept to myself a lot, stuck in my thoughts (I still do, honestly), but it's hard to feel normal when my mind is constantly teetering between my safe space and a prison.
There's so many issues weighing down on me, I feel like a bum that's holding everyone back with my constant depressive thoughts. I'm tired of feeling so worthless.
It's difficult to type everything because my mind just gets filled with self-hatred, my feelings toward myself never fully go away, and all I want for them is to go away. I feel envious of people who are better off than me, I want to be them, I wan't to be anybody but myself.
There's so many issues weighing down on me, I feel like a bum that's holding everyone back with my constant depressive thoughts. I'm tired of feeling so worthless.
It's difficult to type everything because my mind just gets filled with self-hatred, my feelings toward myself never fully go away, and all I want for them is to go away. I feel envious of people who are better off than me, I want to be them, I wan't to be anybody but myself.
