Help I'm in a weird spot

[BleedingConstantly]

Hiyaaa,

im new here so forgive me if this is in the wrong section or if anything is wrong in this post. I just need somewhere to just ask for help ig.

I been in recovery for a long ass time. Years actually. I struggled with mental health greatly, and have (almost) tried every treatment/higher level care available to me. But I still fuck up and relapse a lot.

My main two hurdles rn are SH and SI. I been struggling so much with the both of them and especially during the new year. I fucked up a lot of my body because of it and I just don't know what I can do in recovery to "fix" that? I know that I can't magically stop being mentally ill, but is there actually hope for people like me? Is there actually yk ... ways to keep going even when everything feels like it will fall apart every fucking day? I'm in a rough patch rn, which is why I joined this site. I just hope there is even a chance for me to get better.

 

[Hollowman]

I don't have any advice but at least you still have some hope. I've forgotten what that's like.

 

[heatnormal]

but is there actually hope for people like me?

if you;re asking for a second opinion; then yes, there is hope. people find help and heal in unusual places.

 

[whywere]

1st off, WELCOME to SaSu!

So darn nice having you here as a new family member and a good friend.

I am older, and I mention this ONLY as I have had many decades of ups, downs and everything in-between. With massive depression, BPD, heavens everything I guess! every day is a climb up the mountain of life.

HOWEVER, I also know that there is a beautiful sun rise and sun set waiting to be enjoyed, along with all the outstanding folks here.

I take each day one at a time and with the support of this site and my Celexa helps also.

I have 24/7 chronic pain from a VERY nasty car crash, car crash not my fault, wrong place at the wrong time, and this aspect also adds a lot of daily struggles.

BUT we ALL are in this together and you are a strong and wonderful spirit and YES there is a lot of hope for you to enjoy brilliant sun rises and sun sets and so much more.

Well wishes, hugs and the knowledge that you are VERY important and valuable.

Walter

 

[BleedingConstantly]

1st off, WELCOME to SaSu!

So darn nice having you here as a new family member and a good friend.

I am older, and I mention this ONLY as I have had many decades of ups, downs and everything in-between. With massive depression, BPD, heavens everything I guess! every day is a climb up the mountain of life.

HOWEVER, I also know that there is a beautiful sun rise and sun set waiting to be enjoyed, along with all the outstanding folks here.

I take each day one at a time and with the support of this site and my Celexa helps also.

I have 24/7 chronic pain from a VERY nasty car crash, car crash not my fault, wrong place at the wrong time, and this aspect also adds a lot of daily struggles.

BUT we ALL are in this together and you are a strong and wonderful spirit and YES there is a lot of hope for you to enjoy brilliant sun rises and sun sets and so much more.

Well wishes, hugs and the knowledge that you are VERY important and valuable.

Walter

I do have a similar story about mental health lol. I have the "usual" stuff like depression and anxiety, but been suspected of BPD or Bipolar as well. It's been difficult ig, especially since I know at least whatever is causing my depression is DRD (Drug Resistant Depression) so medication barely does anything.

I was actually quite worried to join this site . I had bad experiences with "similar" sites since I actually gotten worse because of them. But some of them actually saved my life by being supportive and stuff like that. And I been aware of the stuff related to SaSu as well, but it's interesting to see the clarification on here as a member.

Thank you for your very kind reply. I love the sun, and especially stars at night lol. It's really peaceful to see them every now and again. I really hope for the best for all of us.

 

[derpyderpins]

Something I've said on the topic of setbacks:

Part of the path to recovery will always include setbacks. My current theory includes the steps (1) recognize something is wrong, (2) accept that it can get better, (3) take steps towards that better, realizing there will be setbacks.

Not written in stone or anything, but that's how I see recovery. It sounds like you're good on 1 and 2. So, with whatever you're thinking of preparing for and trying, you have to build into your expectations that you might fail and that failure is okay. If you successfully attempt, even if the attempt is a failure, the fact that the attempt was made is a success in and of itself. Being able to put yourself out there and try is huge.

I see a lot of great recovery signs in your posting here.

(1) been in recovery a long time. Big win. The natural path is to keep spiraling down. Even if you've always hit a snag and returned closer to where you started, you've proven improvement is possible and that you can survive;

(2) trying all treatments. Might feel like a negative thing, becuase you'd love for one to just "fix" it, but it's never that simple. The attempts are evidence of energy and will to figure out the right combination for you;

(3) Identified main hurdles, and hence can work at them. It is EXTREMELY common to not only not see the big hurdles, but to actively delude oneself into not recognizing them as hurdles; and

(4) suspect and exploring diagnosis. While diagnosis (particularly self diagnosis) aren't to be taken as the end-all, be-all, you are introspective and taking on the challenge of exploring your mind in an age when it is more difficult than arguably any point in history.

I won't lie to you, I would always say there is hope. That said, I see a lot of good factors in your favor. It's never fun, but you absolutely can reach stability.

I give credit to the original ss subreddit for me being alive today and sticking with recovery. (@MyLifeisHell ) I hope this place can help you too. Feel free to reach out.