memotrow
Always a loop
- Dec 2, 2025
- 5
Hi, it's my first post and also my first thoughts about suicide.
So my life had too many sudden changes in a very short time: moving to another country without my mum and my little brother, all my cats stayed there, my first breakup (3 years of relationship), I don't have friends in this country and since I study in the afternoons and my brothers in the mornings, I can never see them.
I recently met a girl who's a friend of my sister. She's a nice person and fun to talk to, but I think I've become emotionally dependent on her. She used to text me about a lot of things, but now she doesn't text me. She tells me she's busy or that she's not feeling well, but she just ignores me, since she does text my sister.
I know what I said sounds immature and that I seem needy, but I've been feeling very lonely and I made the mistake of putting the little energy I had into that person.
Now I feel like nothing in my life is right. I should never have come to this country, even though I had no other choice. Now I think about suicide every day, I've thought about jumping off a bridge that's on the way to my institute but I'm a coward; the idea of suicide still scares me, and chemical methods are impossible.
I just wanted to vent. I have my first appointment with the psychologist today. I don't know if my thoughts will change, but this site helped me a lot when I felt alone.
So my life had too many sudden changes in a very short time: moving to another country without my mum and my little brother, all my cats stayed there, my first breakup (3 years of relationship), I don't have friends in this country and since I study in the afternoons and my brothers in the mornings, I can never see them.
I recently met a girl who's a friend of my sister. She's a nice person and fun to talk to, but I think I've become emotionally dependent on her. She used to text me about a lot of things, but now she doesn't text me. She tells me she's busy or that she's not feeling well, but she just ignores me, since she does text my sister.
I know what I said sounds immature and that I seem needy, but I've been feeling very lonely and I made the mistake of putting the little energy I had into that person.
Now I feel like nothing in my life is right. I should never have come to this country, even though I had no other choice. Now I think about suicide every day, I've thought about jumping off a bridge that's on the way to my institute but I'm a coward; the idea of suicide still scares me, and chemical methods are impossible.
I just wanted to vent. I have my first appointment with the psychologist today. I don't know if my thoughts will change, but this site helped me a lot when I felt alone.
