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barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
I can't do this anymore. I can't. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of a friend dying by suicide. Im jealous. Im jealous she had the guts. Im jealous she didn't fail, like i have. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to feel this way anymore. I just want to die, but feel guilty about leaving my kids, but even that is fading. I was never meant to be here. I was never meant to be on this earth, at least not this lifetime. I can't do this anymore. I can't.
 
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Faraway1990

Faraway1990

Student
Jun 2, 2019
195
I can't do this anymore. I can't. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of a friend dying by suicide. Im jealous. Im jealous she had the guts. Im jealous she didn't fail, like i have. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to feel this way anymore. I just want to die, but feel guilty about leaving my kids, but even that is fading. I was never meant to be here. I was never meant to be on this earth, at least not this lifetime. I can't do this anymore. I can't.
I understand that I've never felt I'm In the right timeline like I know what's right but it's just not there for me instead we're in clown world. <3
 
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Mljonzy

Student
Aug 21, 2018
145
Our personalities just don't suit life sucks to be on the recieving end of all this bullshit.
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
I can't do this anymore. I can't. Yesterday was the one year anniversary of a friend dying by suicide. Im jealous. Im jealous she had the guts. Im jealous she didn't fail, like i have. I dont want to do this anymore. I dont want to feel this way anymore. I just want to die, but feel guilty about leaving my kids, but even that is fading. I was never meant to be here. I was never meant to be on this earth, at least not this lifetime. I can't do this anymore. I can't.
Did she tell you she was leaving beforehand?
 
barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
Did she tell you she was leaving beforehand?

no she didn't tell anyone. wrote some letters to certain people, wrote a seven page note for the general people, sat some of her stuff down and jumped off a bridge into traffic.
 
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not_a_robot

not_a_robot

"i hope the leaving is joyful, & never to return"
May 30, 2019
2,121
no she didn't tell anyone. wrote some letters to certain people, wrote a seven page note for the general people, sat some of her stuff down and jumped off a bridge into traffic.

Are you feeling any better today? Seven pages is some length, did you get to read it? I don't mean to pry or make you sad, we talk alot about notes so I'm just curious, did it help the loved ones that she left a note?
 
Last edited:
barelyalive

barelyalive

Member
Jun 12, 2019
23
Are you feeling any better today? Seven pages is some length, did you get to read it? I don't mean to pry or make you sad, we talk alot about notes so I'm just curious, did it help the loved ones that she left a note?


yeah, i carry her note with me honestly. Her mom tells me its helped her a lot. I dont know how I feel about it.
 
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